I'm gonna move to the southwest, and, I don't know...

( Let's show Mom and Dad what video games and partying are all about! || CW for the worst time to have a bad drug trip. )

Another sharp shift from the ship that threw them fast down a corridor as the vehicle shot straight forward at full speed, climbing up a mountain like it was a ramp with enough fire and power behind it to launch it straight into the atmmosphere...and beyond.

Until it finally found its final resting place in a new object that it shot itself straight into, with an impact so powerful, it only took that one last toss to leave Summer and Morty in an unconscious heap in a small puddle of blue vomit on the floor.

[[ taken from S04;E09 of Rick & Morty, "Childrick of Mort," continued from here! And to be continued....in a bit! *Makes the most out of dramatic pauses in the narrative* ]]

"I don't think he's coming back," Morty decided, looking worriedly toward the sky where the sun was clearly setting on Gaia as he unzipped the tent flaps to step out. Summer had, eventually, joined him in the tent, but it didn't really make much of a difference. They both just sort of sat there in awkward, unacknowledging silence while the time seemed to just drag on. And he tried to tamper down his anger at her, but it just didn't work, and now that he was out of the toxic air between them in the tent, he was embolded enough to let her know as much. "You know, you...you really messed him up, Summer!"

"Yeah, well!" Summer's own anger hadn't settled much, either, especially since she was apparently supposed to feel bad for just being honest and having a good life now. "He called me a lemur."

Which, you know, was just the tip of this iceberg, but, seriously, a lemur?

She crawled out of the tent after Morty, dragging her backpack with her. "Let's just go find Grampa. Maybe he can just portal us home or something."

"Why don't you just portal yourself home?" Morty shot back acidly.

"I can't," Summer reminded him, returning the acid right back. "Our despotic Napoleon of a father with the multiverse's biggest inferiority complex confiscated my portal gun, because I wouldn't be needing it and we were supposed to have a sci-fi bullshit free weekend, remember? But, yeah, go ahead and tell me how I'm the one being too harsh on him despite going along with this stupid ass camping trip in the first place!"

Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Summer figured it was now her turn to start stalking away.

"...should we leave a note?" asked Morty, glued to the spot for the time being, unwilling to just abandon the camp just yet.

"Dad is fine!" Summer insisted crossly. "He's probably sucking off a tree somewhere and having the time of his life right now. Let's go."

And so Summer kept walking, not caring at this point whether Morty decided to come with her or not. And Morty almost let her. If that was what she wanted, she could handle whatever she came across by herself, for all he cared. He should probably wait for when Jerry came back, but...what if...what if Summer really had gone too far? What if he didn't come back? And what if something did happen to Summer? He couldn't just leave her, either.

"Summer!" he called out after her, finally able to move, grabbing his backpack as well. "Hey, w-wait up!"

[[ and surely things can only get better from here, right? Either way, you'll have to wait and see! I'm finally done spamming you all with Summer for today, but stay tunes! Or just keep scrolling, that's fine, too, I'm not your boss. More from S04;E09 of Rick & Morty, "Childrick of Mort", with a little extra spice ]]

It seemed a little weird, that they had to set out to find a planet that they were on, but Summer and her family trekked through the wilderness of Gaia so that they could meet this planet baby mama and Rick could get things straightened out and, if Summer had anything to do with it, they could just forget about camping and go back ot their lives. If they timed it right, she might even be able to hit up Mike Triscuit's party before heading over to Nina's.

She very much doubted that any of this would be timed right.

( The Best Parent is Evolution! CW for Human-Spewing Earth Vagina Geyser. Yes. My CW warning could use a CW. )

The wail that escaped Summer and Morty was desperate and perfectly in sync. "Mo~om!!"

"Summer, Morty." Beth turned to give them a look that was going to accept absolutely no protests. "Go camp with your father."

"Oh, son of a bitch!"

"Son of a bitch!"

Summer and Morty could only roll their eyes and sag their shoulders in resignation to the fact that not even people-spewing planet vaginas could be enough for them to escape their fates, while Jerry, grinning triumphantly that a victory had finally come his way, gestured to guide them off into the wilderness, where their camping adventure and some long overdue family bonding time awaited!

[[ Ladies and gentlemen *gestures* my canon. Transcribed from S04E09 of Rick & Morty, "Childrick of Mort." TBC, NFB, NFI, OOC welcome, ABCD, EFG, ETC ETC ETC ]]

There were no jello shots at Caritas tonight.

In fact, there was no Summer at Caritas tonight, either.

What would even be the point? The island was going crazy, and everyone should probably stay at home! Sure, Caritas was a safe space, and that was good if anyone needed it, and it was literally right across the street so it wouldn't take long to get there, but, knowing her luck? Ha! She'd probably be dead before she barely stepped out the door!

Not that she figured she was much safer in her own apartment, because she did not at all trust those looks Pancakes was giving her, and this wouldn't even be the first time a pet had threatened her! At least Pancakes didn't have a mech suit, though!

....YET.

Besides, she was thoroughly convinced that anyone who actually did go to Caritas would have a much better time without her there. Because that's just how it was. Things were always better without her. Just look at her parents' lives if she hadn't been born, and the Resistance was probably thriving now that she was out of the picture. Why do you think Grampa Rick only ever wanted to take Morty on adventures and never her? Because she sucked. And things always sucked more when she was involved. Tino didn't need her there. Tino probably didn't even want her there.

No one did.

And it definitely didn't help that Summer just could not stop doomscrolling through all the happy, perfect posts from people on all her socials, almost as if something that knew it would only exacerbate these feelings was compelling her to keep doing so.

[[ very much open! with potential bouts of SP because work has been stupid stressful lately, ugh ]]

Text messages had oh so handwavily gone out to all the chaperones on the trip that Summer's Jello Shot Room Party would be happening that Wednesday, of course, followed by an afterparty over at Karaoke Kan's Shibuya location. Because, at this point, a jello shot room party and some sort of afterparty was practically tradition. And to steal a phrase from another character: Tradition? Don't mess with it!

(That was totally how it went, right?)

Either way, through an series of complicated arrangements that allowed her to pull off her usual serving of shots, Summer (and Barry!) had put together a fine selection, and then she went to get the room prepared after spending some time around Tokyo (and, like, sort of chaperoning, too? Because that was what they were there for, right?), and wondering if the size of the room might actually work to their benefit in getting everyone ready to get out to the bar for some karaoke!

[[ and minor ocd incoming is up! Go forth and party! ]]

The wait between when Summer had left and when she had summoned them to the main chamber of her new domain wasn't that long at all, thankfull. Plasma-rifle armed guards ushered them into the pit of the large amphitheater, hands bound, while a grim and solemn Summer stood over them from above, flanked by the the other advisors. With clear disdain for the traitors that had attempted to destroy so much of what they'd built since...you know, yesterday, the guards threw the prisoners to the ground and all attention shifted to their Empress and her decision with bated breath.

( Because there's always that one asshole who ruins everything. More exploding aliens and a dramatic conclusion ahoy! )

( And an epilogue, where I don't so much as embrace my canon's tendency toward scatological humor but I will at least acknowledge it. )

[[ and ~fin~! Continued from here and here, with so, so, soooooo many apologies for that last part. This wraps up Rick & Morty S04:E07, "Promortyus", with special guest star, the ever amazing badassprodigy, because like I can say no to any plot arc that has Summer taking over and elevating a society in an absurdly small amout of time. thanks for reading! And I still promise I will not be doing the dragon orgy episode, at least? ]]

Things were quiet around the Smith household that evening. A little too quiet, considering what time it was and the fact that everyone else should have been back well before that time. Of course, Beth knew that they'd all gone somewhere for the time being, but she would have thought the intention was for it to not interfere with these dinner plans, and honestly, Beth Smith didn't know which emotion was running stronger in her at that moment: hurt, worry, or anger.

( In which at least one very crucial Smith goes missing...but at least there won't be murder hornets. CW for wonton alien massacres and way too much talk of dicks. )

[[ Many, many, many thanks to the wonderful badassprodigy for letting me inject him all up into my canon (she says, as if these two weren't totally destined for comixing sci-fi bullshit). Taken heavily from Rick & Morty S04:E07, "Promortyus", Part I of III, all the wonderful typical alphabet soup applies! ]]

Honestly, while there had been a lot of drinking last night, Summer was feeling more of an emotional drainage hangover than anything else. There was definitely an alcohol hangover in there, too, don't get her wrong, but it was definitely sharing the rent.

Thankfully, Summer had distractions and something else to focus on, which she felt was perfect planning, all things considered, because what better way to ignore what had been going on in the last week by focusing on what was going to go on in the next! After all, she had a lot of last minute party prep to do, and a shit ton of impressive jello shots to make before tomorrow.

And, of course, the ubiquitous mass text to send out to let everyone she didn't have a chance to personally badger into coming know about it, being sure to check that Ignis was excluded from the receipients:

POOL PARTY IN MY APARTMENT TOMORROW!
(yes, you read that right!)
~~MHA #4~~
It's also a surprise birthday party for Ignis
So don't tell him!
Hit me up if you have any ????s!

...Summer was pretty sure Ignis only knew, like, five people on this island, not including his students, so she was not even remotely worried about the surprise part being ruined.

And now....jello time! Sorry, Nina. It was time for Summer to claim her apartment back for her own insane machinations...or at least just the kitchen.


[[ open post, with a very likely sp-until-later caveat, but apparently Summer's not down with just handwaving a mass text idk. and if you want to have received a text, you did! yay! It's like MAGIC! ]]

Summer really had to stop spending her Saturday mornings (well, afternoon, in this case) waking up on a couch after drinking way too much and getting overly invested in something the night before. At least this time it was actually her own couch, although there was a distinct lack of a Santa-clad boyfriend there with here. Iris was around there...somewhere, she was pretty sure, at least she had been last night, otherwise Summer had literally spent the wee hours of the morning with a lot of champagne (as evidenced by the empty bottles), mostly talking to herself...

...and making her living room look like the den of an absolute madwoman.

Two madwomen, in this case, because, look, last night, she and Iris went out to celebrate Taylor's great new album, which lead to the inevitable discussion of Ms. Swift's completely understated brilliance, and then that tumbled into the theories and rumors and speculations and conspiracies.

Yes. Conspiracies. As evidence by the scattering of 'evidence' the two young women had pulled up in their infatuated and increasingly intoxicated state, right down to the large corkboard that Summer had apparently had just lying around that was now cluttered with photographs, print out, Post-It notes, speculations....all of them with connections making a spider web of red yarn across the board as they worked diligently into the morning to unearth and unravel of of Tay-Tay's deepest secrets and most incrypted codes.

To think, it all started with a few scrunchies and candles (and cardigans!). There was a whole whiteboard with a series of letters and questionmarks, a riddle left unanswered, diving deep into theories on what the next album may be entitled:

F - olk - Lore
E - ver - More
D - ??? - Nore

forevermore??? (woodvale??) san salvador? carnivore anymore ALBACORE???? herbivore OMNIVORE

Emily FUCKING DICKINSON!!!

BONUS TRACKS: lakes---> heading out to the lakes to escape
evermore---> it's time to go, right where you left me (!!!)

INVISIBLE STRING

'TONIGHT THE STORY CONTINUES'

OLIVE GARDEN?

And so on, and so forth, all connected with pictures (and often sketches) of music videos, album art hairstyles, acceptance speeches, real estate news, all trying to figure out all the clues and how they might fit together so that they could be the ones to maybe stand there when the next one dropped (because, obviously, there was going to be a next one!) and triumphantly declare: "HA! CALLED IT!"

But in the light of the morning (errr, afternoon), with one of the cats attempting to lick a smudge of red Sharpie marker from where it had accidently gotten smudged across her cheek in the chaos of their brilliant revelations, it all looked a bit....

Insane.

But as she groaned and looked over at the masterpiece of an investigation they'd conducted, Summer couldn't help feeling like they were really onto something there, and that maybe, just maybe, with a little bit of coffee and some fresh eyes....

On the one had, that required getting up or, even worse, moving. On the other hand...maybe there could be more clue in their coffee grounds!

Yeah, okay. Maybe they'd gone a little overboard with this one...

[[ I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS GETTING MYSELF INTO. Anyway, for the enabler, mostly, but definitely open as well! ]]

Summer couldn't really remember if the bottles of Coke being distrubuted by the polar bears would actually stick around for longer than today, but she'd collected a few extra for tomorrow, just in case, and was going to try some new ideas for incorperating the cola into jello shots in the meantime. And when she wasn't working on that, she was crafting together a good mass text to send to everyone about the party on Friday.

Sure, she said she was going to invite the whole faculty thanks to having them already on hand for when she sent out school trip party invites, but she wasn't going to just stop there. She'd been put in charge of invitations, and so she was going to be in charge of invitations. Which meant sending out a mass text to everyone outside the student body whose number she could scrounge up.

Happy Holidays!
Before we all get SICK of Christmas cheer and can only say BAH HUMBUG to it all, party it up with a Holiday Party Extravaganza!
Friday, December 4th
@ MCA #1
(that's Rey's apartment!)

There will be punch! Presents! Party games!
Ugly Sweaters Encouraged!
And an EXCLUSIVE seasonal jello shot DEBUT!

Seriously, you don't want to miss it!
Contact Summer (that's me!) or Annie for more deets!

And, obviously, there were posters being printed up to be spread around town, too, just in case anyone just straight up disregarded the mass text as spam, and she would not blame them.

When her phone buzzed soon after that with a message, she was thrilled to see someone already responding, but it turned out that was not the case at all, and the message was actually coming from somewhere else entirely.

( Cut for text conversation )

"I didn't!" Summer said to her phone, outloud, because that's how frustrated she was, and then she remembered to text it, too, but, after that, things on her grampa's side went quiet, as she was pretty sure he went to deal with whatever this monolith bullshit was that she knew she had nothing to do with but was now actually really curious about, and she considered...

...no. Nope. She had a party to help plan for and some jello experiments that would hopefully go better than other recent jello experiements performed by other people, and she reminded herself that it was healthier to just step away and not engage...

[[ yeah, like a mysterious monolith is going to show up randomly in the same place where this hyper-ridiculous sci-fi ship wound up for Thanksgiving and I'm not going to do anything with it?? Anyway, it's open! ]]