I'm gonna move to the southwest, and, I don't know...

After several hours undersea, fighting her way through a cadre of aquatic sealife with a mercilessness that was going to make it difficult to look Sidon in the eye for a while (good thing that was already a challenge with how tall he was, huh?), Summer finally did it. She managed to make her way into Mr. Nimbus' Ocean Palace, located the forbidden shell that gave him his powers, and absconded with it to return home before she had to add too many more stupid sexy shark soldiers to that body count.

"Grampa!" Summer burst through the door of the garage, holding her hard-earned prize and the clear sigil of Rick's well-placed trust aloft in her hand as she did so. "I got the shell!"

"Shit."

That curse out of Rick and the very dramatic shift in the air between him and Mr. Nimbus in that moment of dramatic reveal made Summer feel like she had really missed something, a certain tender expression on the King of the Ocean's face shifting into one of deepest betrayal and offense.

"Okay, Nimbus," Rick implored quickly, "look..."

"You son of a bitch!" Mr. Nimbus pulled back one of his arms, balling up a fist and sending it crashing into Rick's face, then seized him by the shoulders to pull him down into his knee headed for his stomach. "Betrayer!"

Summer stared, wide-eyed, as Mr. Nimbus continued to whale on her grandfather. "My-my weapons!" Rick gasped between relentless blows and manhandling at Mr. Nimbus' hands. "Morty! Get my weapons!"

"I...I used them all!" Morty protested helplessly.

"Wait!" Summer waved the forbidden shell frantically. "Grampa! What do I do? I have the shell! Should I..." What did someone even do with a magical forbidden shell. "Should I blow it?"

Mr. Nimbus now had Rick on the ground, still showering him with punches, and Summer, overwhelmed with indecision, just shook her head. "is that....I'm....I'm just gonna blow it!"

"Don't blow it! Destroy the--" But it was too late. Summer had placed the colorful conch to her lips as she inhaled and then blew out as fierce as she could, sending a thin trumpeting sound into theh air. "--horn."

"What the hell, Summer!" Morty demanded as Mr. Nimbus, eyes gone wide at the siren call of the forbidden shell, pulled off of Rick as a magical aura surrounded him, pink and shimmering and making his muscles pop and bulking him up significantly.

"You were supposed to destroy the horn!" Rick lamented, trying to crawl away from underneath Mr. Nimbus, who swiftly slammed a fist into his head before getting up to drag the old man away by his hair.

"How was I supposed to know that?" Summer argued, and they went to follow Mr. Nimbus as he tossed Rick out onto the driveway outside of the garage, just as a cop car with blazing sirens rolled up to a stop in front of them.

"Police!" Mr. Nimbus declared, arms lifted behind his head with a might thrust of his pelvis. "Take this piece of shit to jail!"

"I told you!" Rick groaned, as the police officers flanked him and dragged him back up to his feet. "He's an ice cold dick killer!" And then, just before the cop car squealed off into the distance, he gave one last longing looking through the window. "Nimbus!"

As Beth and Jerry emerged from the house to see what was going on, and Mr. Nimbus continued to go through the motions of a variety of sexy poses, Summer looked from the shell in her hands, to where the car had disappeared, and then to Mr. Nimbus with a confused, mildly disturbed look on her face. "Wait," she said, "so how can he--?"

"Jesus, Summer!" said Jerry, throwing up his hands at such an obvious question. "He's Mr. Nimbus! He controls the police!"

Summer stared at her father for a moment, walked over to shove the conch shell into her mother's arms, and firmly declared, "I have been away way too long for this shit. I'm going back to Fandom, where things are normal."

With that, she picked just a little bit of clinging sea creature gore from her shoulder and flapper-stepped her way back through the garage door to get her portal gun and the keys to her ship.

And she was definitely keeping the harpoon gun.

[[ my canon, ladies and gentlemen! Thus wraps up Summer's part in Rick and Morty S05E01 "Mort Dinner Rick Andre," a completely pointless vignette that I still felt compelled to write out and make FH canon. DID I need to do this? No. Do I have mild regrets? Maybe. NDB for distance, OOC welcome? Look, Season 5 is a mess, I've got to take what I can get. ]]

So, there Summer was, cruising along the universe, jamming out to some Japanese Breakfast at top volume while hitting up some of her various contacts to find out where the best and biggest parties in the galaxy were expected to take place this weekend, because she was so ready to just let loose for herself for a weekend, when a call started to light up her dashboard.

"God dammit!"

She had barely been back to this dimension for a hot second, and, already, Crisis Control from the Homefront, apparently. She considered just ignoring it, but there was something almost....persistent about the tone that made her realize that, if she didn't take care of this now, he was going to keep bothering her all night.

"Sum-Sum!" Rick's voice came over dash the moment she answered it. "My favorite grandchild! Back in her old dimension again! What are the odds?"

"Ugh," said Summer. "What do you want, Rick?"

"Listen, Summer," his tone went suddenly serious, in a way that made her immediately start side-eyeing the speaker. "Your timing is impeccable, I knew I could depend on you, I need your help."

"Fuck off, Rick," Summer didn't skip a beat. "I'm on vacation. I'm on some well-deserved me time, and Squanchette is blowing up my phone with deets on a massive rager in Gear Town and there is no way I'm missing it."

"C-c-come on, Summer!" Rick stammered out a protest. "You really going to do me dirty like that?"

Summer was just going to let her silence answer that one.

At first, Rick met her silence with some of his own, until, finally, "You're the only one I can trust with this one, Summer."

"...God dammit," Summer breathed out, hands tight on the steering wheel, and she let it out with a long sigh.

"Does that mean you'll help?"

"God dammit, Rick!" she repeated angrily. "You already know it does. But can it at least fucking wait until tomorrow? I came out here to get absolutely wrecked, and I am going to be seriously pissed if whatever stupid shit you have going on right now is going to get in the way of that."

"We'll be cutting it real close," Rick admitted, "but I know you can do it."

Summer rolled her eyes.

"Have fun getting shitfaced at your space rager, sweetie. See you in the morning!"

"You better fucking have breakfast waiting for me, too!" Summer demanded, just before the call was terminated, and she quickly pulled up another number.

"Heeeey, Squanchette, yeah, it's Summer. Listen, I don't think Gear Town's going to work tonight. What have you got that's harder?"

So much for her Me Time! Can't step foot in this dimension for one fucking second....Ugh!


[[ me: I think I just need to send Summer for for a few days to take a break from her.

Summer: Okay, yeah, but what if instead....

I have been wanting to do this particularly stupid bit of very light canon for a while, though, so I guess here we go. NFB for distance, obviously, but open if anyone wants to get in touch! ]]

"And, so, like," Summer was saying, as the narrative caught up to the small vessel that Morty had stolen approaching the NX-5, "it turned out that, this whole time, Tammy was just a plant for Galactic Federation, and she used her wedding to Bird Person as a super honey trap to massacre a bunch of galactic criminals and put Grampa Rick in space jail. That's when the Federation took over Earth and I started to get rebellious about the whole thing, and my parents sent me to Fandom before I started a massive insurrection! So I guess, in a way," here she turned a bright, beaming, absolutely disgustingly sacchine smile toward Barry, "if Tammy wasn't actually a stupid duplicitious bitch," she reached a hand over said stupid duplicitious bitch's corpse for his hand, "we may have never met."

“Well, I wish I could have thanked her before your grandfather splattered her brains all over the ground,” Barry said cheerfully.

( No one cares if you pee on the floor of a Death Star. )
________________________________________________

It didn't take long before the trio turned a corner right into an armed Gromfromlite, but it didn't take long, either, for Morty to pull the pin on the device Rick had given him and lobbed it forward toward the soldier, exploding him into guts and goo all over the floor and walls.

"Morty," said Summer, "we had one grenade!"

( An Intermission for Exposition )


______________________________________________________

"What do you think they do with all those jeans?" the first Gromfromlite mused. "Make them into jackets?"

"It's not about conserving denim," the second informed him. "It's marketing. Like...uh....'The NX-5...destroys the whole planet! Except for Wrangler jeans."

"Because they're so tough?" the first guessed. "Tougher than the laser? That's stupid."

"But you're talking about it."

Crestfallen, the first Gromfromlite seemed to have his whole world opened up for him, but he wasn't sure he liked what he saw. "They..." he slowly realized. "They got me..."

( There's a bit of the West in all of us. Or at least on the butts of two complete and total nerds. )

_________________________________________________

"Mom! Dad!" Using the locator watch to track down exactly where they could find Beth, Summer, Morty, and Barry rushed into the room, and a grisly scene that had occurred in the A plot that doesn't concern enough people reading this to bother going into full detail about. What was clear was that quite the battle had taken place: Jerry stood awkwardly over the corpse of Tammy, and both Beths were there, one of them absolutely covered in blood, both of them standing over the fallen hulk of what could only be described (incorrectly) as some sort of cybernetic Bird Person. The wall behind them was blasted open, revealing an even more grisly scene of a bullet-ridden, scorched Rick, in a pool of his own intestines and various mechanical parts and almost placidly trying to put them all back in place.

( A Reunion with Cloned Moms and Morty's Little Balls. )

[[ continued from here and the bulk of the action from S04 E10 of Rick and Morty, "Starmort Rickturn of the Jerri," modified slightly and with appreciation to badassprodigy for allowing me to steal his pants. Usual alphabet soup applies. Surprisingly actually not officially sponsored by Wrangler jeans. ]]

"Barry!"

Summer hadn't been difficult to track, but, by the time Barry caught up with her, she was distinctly visible again, and running toward him, carrying a pair of broken goggles and a belt, grabbing his arm and directing their course elsewhere.

"That little twerp tricked me!" she explained, carefully avoiding mentioning the part where she had been just as guilty as trying to trick Morty in this instance, but details, details. "Come on, we don't have much time!"

( Shower Fires, Sibling Rivalry Beat-Downs, and ALMOST getting arrested by the new, IMPROVED Galactic Federation! )

[[ continued from here, a bit more on the way! Usual NFB/NFI/OOC ok ABCs apply. Void where prohibited, Taken and modified from S04 E10 of Rick and Morty, "Starmort Rickturn of the Jerri" with a little help from badassprodigy, of couuuurse! ]]

Things were serious enough that, once seized upon, Rick and Morty didn't even bother putting up more of a fight. It was one thing to hack and slash their way through an angry mob of citizens, but it was something else all together to be faced with a multitude of high powered plasma guns charged and aimed and ready to go.

So the next stop for them, it would seem.....was space jail.

A dirty, grimy space jail with some sort of strange mucus strung over the walls, dingy yellow light pouring through the barred windows on the hapless trio, plus just some random face-hugged dude barely aware of any of them as he slept sitting on the floor, back up against the grimy wall.

( A Brief Interlude in Space Jail. )


[[ continued from here, part II of III! preplayed with the absolutely fantastic badassprodigy, who knew exactly what he was getting into, the poor sod. nfb, nfi, tcb, ooc welcome, yanked from Rick & Morty S04;E07, "Promortyus", blah blah blah, so on and so forth~~ ]]

Okay, so, Summer was pretty sure this was the absolute worst. She'd come back home for a shifted Friday morning session with Dr. Wong, and now she was pretty much just waiting for Saturday, and it was probably, literally going to kill her. It was hard to focus on playing Downbeat with her parents or watching TV with Morty when the big dinner with the family was hanging over her head like this. It didn't help that everyone she knew from here seemed to be either dead air or evasive about potential plans for going out tonight.

Well...if her friends from home didn't have jack shit going on, and all anyone else had was board games (more like bored games, was she right?), there was at least one other possibility she could tap into.

Summer wound up putting on her sweetest smile that morning and traipsing downstairs to start pestering Rick into taking her and Morty out on just, like, a quick little adventure, just something to kill some time, before she got sucked into hearing all about her dad's beekeeping again...

And to her surprise, Rick...actually agreed...She could even kill two birds with one stone, booting up the podcast she'd been listening too lately while they were in transit, looking for something that might catch their eye.

( CW: Chekov's Toothpick, Hot Wet Eggs, and Exploding Aliens. )

Summer grinned. Now this, she decided, was more the kind of distraction she was looking for!


[[ mostly taken from Rick & Morty S04:E07 "Promortyus", mostly establishy, TBC, NFI, NFB, OOC is love~~ etc etc etc! (I was totally going to icon some Glorzos for this, but then forgot and ran out of time lol oh well ]]

SO THAT WENT WELL.

After what had been an botched attempt to test out some coordinates to see if Summer was anywhere near figuring out how to get Seivarden home and winding up on her (very unfortunately named) good friend Mr. Poopybutthole's home planet, where his hopes to finally escape the clutches of his own celebrity were dashed like so many of the citizens waiting in the lobby had been against the wall, it would appear that Summer and Seivarden were indeed incarcerated in space jail, stripped of all their possessions, but, hey, at least the striped tops in this space jail were actually kind of cute, and they let Summer keep the hat from Mr. PB's disguise and Seivarden got to keep her gloves. They were small favors, perhaps, for all they were worth.

"I don't know how," Summer muttered to herself, clinging to the bars of the cell's door and glowering at the backs of the guards as they retreated after locking them up, "but I'll save you, PB. I'm gonna protect you..."

She was silent for a moment, and then cried out, "I am a citizen of Earth! I have rights! You can't treat me this way!"

But she knew it was falling on deaf ears, and she knew it was hopeless, so Summer gave a small kick to the door out of frustration, hopped a little while grabbing her toes because, fuck, that was a solid ass door!, and then bounced on one foot over to the wall, where her back hit it and she slid down slowly. Once there, she looked over miserably at Seivarden, but...at least she wasn't stuck in space jail alone.

"I'm sorry I, like, totally biffed this and got you thrown in space jail, Seivarden," she offered, though it sounded pretty lame and not at all helpful.

[[ for the gloved accomplice and whatever SP it may entail! and NFB fer distance, natch ]]