I'm gonna move to the southwest, and, I don't know...

The Death Stalkers seemed to flourish in that one day between Rick's Abandonment and his Return, with Hemorrhage at the helm and Summer at his side. She had adapted, as she would always do, fully embracing this new wild kingdom. She felt, sometimes, that she now understood the version of herself she had met in Dimension C-137, letting her hair down, letting it get messy, donning an outfit truly worthy of a post-apocalyptic queen, a cool new silver face tattoo to match her big metal shoulder pads and steel grey dress. She'd gotten wind that Rick had returned to this land, so, naturally, they would ride out to meet him, but he'd better be ready. Rick Sanchez had hell to pay.

"The reason I wanted this," said Rick, approaching Summer and Hemorrhage with Morty (no longer with his monster arm) in tow, the ball of Isotope 322 in his hands, "is because....it can do this."

He took a light bulb from his pocket and held it to the glowing green mass. And the light bulb shined brightly, buzzing faintly.

"This is a really special thing," he continued. "I mean, you could use it to power all your vehicles. You wouldn't be reliant on gasoline. You'll be the most advanced tribe of radioactive cannibals in the whole...this version of....the world."

Without hesitation, Hemorrhage grabbed the Isotope and pulled in into his possession. Without another word, Rick aimed his portal gun at the ground and stepped forward, ready to disappear again with Morty, though Summer was clearly not making any move forward to join them.

But Hemorrhage stopped him. "Wait. Can you stay to show us more?"

"You don't have to ask me twice," Rick said happily, pocketing the portal gun. "Home is nuts right now. My daughter's going through a divorce, and I am not dealing with it in a healthy way at aaall."

[[FIN]]

A portal opened in the ceiling of the garage of the Smith house, spitting out the bodies of Rick and his two grandchildren. They had barely landed on the cold cement before Morty started complaining. "Summer! Next time we're hiding in a Chlorkian echo nest, can you do me a favor and turn your ringer off?"

( Carp'en all them diems. )

Leaving Jerry nothing left to do but turn around and leave as well, into the driveway, with his U-To trailer waiting with what meager belongings he had left to his name. And as he stood contemplating all the things that had gone wrong, finally, seemingly destroyed once and for all, a wind stirred, disturbing a wind chime in the neighbor's yard, causing the leaves to dance and brush against the concrete, almost like they were whispering softly.

Looooooserrrrrr.

"What? Hello?"

But no one was there.

[[oh boy, here I go canon catch-uping again! Part 2, electric catch-up-a-loo. This here's part one of ??, pretty much transcribed verbatim from Season 3, Episode 2, "Rickmancing the Stone," so spoiler warning is firmly in place.]]