I'm gonna move to the southwest, and, I don't know...

God, family holidays suuuucked. Was there anything worse than being obligated to just hang out with your family on the pretext of some religious event that no one in your household even believed in? Summer was about ready to stab herself in the face with a fork just to feel alive again. She'd had lunch already with her mom and Morty and Rick, who had unsurprisingly disappeared, and her dad was going to pick them up in a little bit to go have dinner with Gramma and Grampa Smith and Jacob, but, in the meantime, she was just bored as hell.

Sooooo...maybe, since Rick wasn't even there, she'd go poke around the garage for something interesting. Because that was always a great idea, poke around at interdimensional machines and devices, half of which she'd have no idea how to use, but a surprising amount of stuff she did. But she did find the Morphizer-Xe, and a very interesting thought crawled into her brain.

( Boob-ya...aka Cut for length, boobs, body horror and my canon being really, really dumb sometimes but I still kinda love it. )

[[ i honestly never expected to ever use this episode, and yet here were are. sometimes, you just get inspired and handwavey just won't cut it. altered/transcribed from Rick and Morty S03:E05, "The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy". open if'n anyone wants to text or call. Happy Easter, y'all]]

"Summer, where have you been?"

So Summer's attempt to slip back into the house without dealing with any of her family had failed, and she let out a faint grunt. "Out celebrating," she answered her mother, rolling her eyes, trying not to wince at the hangover headache. "Duh. I don't know if you've noticed, but we're kind of free from Galactic Federation tyranny now. It's pretty much been a non-stop party out there since--"

It was then that she noticed that Beth had a manila folder in front of her on the counter, one that she held closed with a hand and a sigh. Summer narrowed her eyes, looking at the folder, looking up at her mother. "What's that?" And then a terrible thought struck her. "Who was in that car leaving our house just now?"

Beth hesitated, as if deciding whether to say anything. "That," she said, "was my lawyer, and these are divorce papers."

Summer stared at her. "You can't be serious."

"As serious as proud flesh on a horse's lower limb," said Beth "I mean it this time, too. Your father--"

"What was all that you said to me about not deifying people who abandon you, Mom?" Summer demanded. "And now you're just going to abandon Dad? What was all that about showing him some respect, huh?"

"Funny how you seem to remember so much of what I said, Summer, and yet you fail to remember the part of your father giving me an ultimatum."

"Yeah, but you guys always do this. You always fight and threaten divorce, but then something happens and you're back to being, like, totally in love or whatever. But all of a sudden, you've both grown a pair of balls and are going to stick with it?"

"If you see your father," said Beth, "tell him to come down and sign the papers. He should be upstairs, packing."

And Summer stared at her mother and her cold response for a long, long moment. She didn't know if it was the hangover or what that was talking, but she definitely seemed unable to process this right now. She blinked, shook her head, and headed for the fridge to grab a soda. "Yeah, okay, whatever," said Summer. "It doesn't matter anyway. Ethan's coming over later; tell him I'll be in my room."

Lawyers. Papers. They were actually going through with it, after going back and forth for almost as long as Summer could remember. What. The. Hell. She was definitely too hung over to deal with this.

What. A. Day. What a goddamn stupid, awful, dumb, stupid day. Summer knew that having to go home for her 'suitable for society' test would be lame as all hell, but she had severely underestimated just how lame all hell could be. Some of it was fine; her friends were still her friends, and places around town where they used to hang out was still pretty much the same, just with an extra Gromflomite presence everywhere, the skyline filled with weird alien ships, the streets swarmed more with unfamiliar creatures than human ones. She even got a chance to catch up a little with Ethan, which was...nice. A good distraction, especially since they both knew she'd be leaving again, but it was good to grasp onto something old and familiar. She was as stubborn and uncooperative during her test as could be, pretty much guaranteeing she'd be sent back to Fandom High for the rest of the summer...she hoped. Once she returned, she remembered just how messed up it all truly was, the distance distorting her perspective, so she had to be careful to show that she could still be swayed, just maybe, in the right circumstances, because she knew that there was somewhere much, much worse they could send her.

And then she spent the evening having a...lovlely pill dinner with her family, lovely and full of tension and bad attempts to be polite that wound up exploding into bitter commentary and angry glares. Beth was drunk, Jerry was being asinine, and Morty...well, Summer had to admit, she had really missed Morty, and he was actually quiet most of the time, though he kept shooting her these worried little looks that made her want to punch them right off his dumb face. But she tried to be good and take it and be civil, at least for now, because she was just focused on that night, when everyone else went to sleep, and she would slip into the garage and start looking for something...anything!...that would help her find her Grampa Rick.

( And then the worst thing imaginable happened.... )

[[And this is what happens when you're STILL WAITING FOR YOUR NEW CANON THAT YOU WERE EXPECTING TO HAVE BY NOW, ARRRGGGH. ]]