Glorzo Planetoid, and then Back Home Again; Dimension FH-001; Saturday Evening [02/20].

[somethingwithturquoise]

The wait between when Summer had left and when she had summoned them to the main chamber of her new domain wasn't that long at all, thankfull. Plasma-rifle armed guards ushered them into the pit of the large amphitheater, hands bound, while a grim and solemn Summer stood over them from above, flanked by the the other advisors. With clear disdain for the traitors that had attempted to destroy so much of what they'd built since...you know, yesterday, the guards threw the prisoners to the ground and all attention shifted to their Empress and her decision with bated breath.

Summer	"The punishment is..." she declared, lifting a finger with a dramatic pause before laying down the law with an accusing point, "death."
Rick and Morty	"Motherfuck--" Rick pushed himself to his knees incredulously. "Summer!" Followed by Morty'd desperate, betrayed, "You said you had a plan!"
Barry	Barry glared at the both of them. Did they not understand the fucking point of following someone's lead? Jesus Fucking Christ. How have they not died a dozen times already? Barry instead laid prostrate on the ground, his arms rising up and down as if fanning Summer. "Oh Empress! We beseech thee! Please forgive our fucking debts and tresspasses! We beg for your charity and forgiveness!"
Summer	...wow. Just...wow. For all three of them, woooow. God, was Summer feeling so glad she was handling this right now. "Silence!" she demanded. "The council of Glorzos has spoken."
Rick	"More like council of shit," Rick retorted back with a glare.
Summer	"Glorzo is law!" the advisor to Summer's left reprimanded, but she held up a hand to halt him. "Silence," she said again. "The punishment...is death." She turned to the advisor to her right for support, and his nodded his face-hugged face sagely. "By...getting into their car..." Which just so happened to be conveniently parked at the back of the amphitheater.
Morty	Morty followed her gaze that way before turning back to her with a whimpering, uncertain, "Sum~mmmerrr...."
Summer	"Shut up!" God, Morty! Don't...Morty this up now! She summoned the gravitas back into her voice. "Yes," she continued to pronounce. "Place them in...the car." Adding hastily: "Those pieces of shit." Which was all that was needed to prompt the hulking guards to grab the prisoners again to start carrying out the sentence and drag them toward Rick's ship.
Rick	"N-no, no! No!" Rick cried, though whether it was a failure in his acting that made him sound so unconvincing about it or whether that was a choice was anyone's guess. "This is like torture! Nooo! I-I-I-I hate being in my car!!"
Barry	Barry went limp as the guards picked him up and dragged him to the car. "I surrender to my fate," he said in a weepy tone. "My life. Gone. To be thrown into a car. Alas!"
Summer	"You deserve it!" Summer called out after them, over the tinkling of more bottles that feel from the door of the spaceship as it was thrown open in ancipation of the prisoners. "You pieces of shit!" But there was, clearly, a very key element still missing from this whole plot, and so Summer, her tone gone heavy and dutiful, stood gravely and started to decend into the pit. "And to make sure the sentence is passed," she announced, "I shall be joining them. In the car." In case that wasn't clear. "And we shall drive away from here...and die." She wasn't sure if everyone had been stunned into silence by her proclamation or if they were just going along with it because, well, she was the Empress who helped them build an entire society when, not even 48 hours ago, all they knew of life was to shit eggs and die, therefor her word was the word of Glorzo and therefor law, but it seemed that it might actually work...
Kyle	...until some asshole... "Ooooooookaaaaay," drawled one of the High Council overheard where Summer just was. "Guess what, everybody. It's me, the whiny guy you never want to hear from. She's just trying to escape with her family and get to that dinner she wouldn't shut up about. Mmmyyy time to shine! Execute her." And, oh, how quickly the tables turned with just that statement, as the guards now had their weapons not only aimed at the prisoners, but Summer as well.
Rick	"Okay," said Rick, hands close enough to his chest to fish something out of the inner pocket of his labcoat, "plan B. Morty," he flicked something toward his grandson, "now." It was the harmonica. It took Morty a second to catch it and put the pieces together, but he put it to his lips and started playing before they could grab his hands and pull it away. And, of course, that was when the eggs planeted in their stomachs started to react to the music, guggling in their stomachs until they exploded out of them.
Summer	"Jesus, Morty," said Summer, pushing away from the guard who had her by the arms two seconds before he, too, exploded from his dropping egg, "that sucks!
Rick	"Alright, stop playing," said Rick, "M-morty. I-I got this." And he pressed the watch on his wrist so that the ship opened up to reveal a large set of speakers, which now started blasting harmonica music throughout the entire amphitheater, filling the area with shouts and screams and eggs being exploded out of people. It also released the binds around their wrists, and Rick casually turned to walk through the carnage toward their ship while Summer and Morty slowly backed away, trying to avoid it all.
Morty	"This is what we get for evolving?" cried someone as they crumpled in pain. "Sorry!" whimpered Morty desperately. "Sorry. I--I'm sorry! We...we thought you were evil! Sorry!" "Why would you think that?" "We had a giant tower that blared 'Glorzo is peace!'" "I know!" Morty cried, dislodging an egg that had attached to his leg, and then desperately reaching down to pick up someone's detatched limb, looking for Rick and not finding him there anymore, he'd already made it to the ship, turning desperately to Summer and Barry. "I--should...should we help?" A booing jeer rose up from the still unexploded portions of the crowd. "Oh, like that's helping!" someone else called. "...got it," Morty realized, dropping the leg, taking a step back, hitching his thumb toward the ship. "Going. Okay. we're gonna hit the road..." "You're just going?" someone cried out. "You....you told us to go!" Morty argued.
Summer	"Once again," Summer offered, lifting her hands placatingly as she backed away, "I'm so sorry for what they did--" "You're part of this, too!" someone cried out over another jeering 'Booooo!' "We hate you the most! Get out!" So yeah. Heading to that ship now sounded just about right.
Barry	Oh. Oh wow. This was a fucking mess. Barry took Morty by the arm and just started directing him towards the ship. "Yeah, I think we need to get the fuck out of here and stop having a dialog with the people you mass murdered," Barry said trying to hasten their exit as quickly as possible. "And next time? I'll just come get Summer myself." He did manage a small smile when they got to the door of the ship. He gestured for Summer to enter before him. "Royalty first," he joked, grimly.
Summer	Summer wanted to give Barry such a withering look for that comment; royalty of what now, a bunch of gross exploded eggs? But honestly, she was just so relieved to see that small smile and that he even could joke about any of this shitshow clusterfuck that she couldn't do anything but smile just as faintly back with a "Thanks, babe" before sliding into the ship.
Rick	"Jesus, Summer," Rick did not waste any time once she was in, either, "why'd you let these things stay on us for so long?"
Summer	"I was working with a lot," Summer countered, glaring a moment before folding her arms and leaning into the back seat. "Maybe just let me listen to the podcast next time?" With that, the ship took off, and the awkward silence that inevitably followed whenever there happened to be planet left behind in complete disarray from the way they'd found it, and Summer glanced over at Barry nervously, a little afraid of what she might find when she did. "Heyyyyy," she said slowly, "sorry I kind of ruined the whole family dinner thing by inspiring an alien race of face-suckers to evolve into a society beyond a thirty-minute life cycle of shitting eggs and dying. I just...kind of got...bored...and nervous. Then it turned into this whole...thing..." Clearly.
Barry	Barry blinked a couple of times before scowling. "You're fucking kidding me, right?" He took a huge intake of breath let it out slowly. "Why the fuck are you even apologizing to me?" he asked. "You're not the one that got left behind. You're not the one that went in and slaughtered a bunch of aliens. Jesus fucking Christ these are fucking aliens who only had a fucking thirty minute lifespan and you changed their culture for the better until these fucknuts came along and went on a killing spree." His face softened a bit. "Look. You made the best out of a bad situation. If there's anyone left alive back there, they are going to be more than just a parasitic race that just fucking multiply and die. There's a possibility they could evolve or change so they don't even need hosts." He paused for a bit before reaching over to take Summer's hand. "I can handle awkward conversations. I can deal with your mother and your Dad. And your Dad's bees. You didn't do anything wrong. There's nothing to be sorry for." Other than being related to Rick. But Barry was probably pushing the limits of getting ejected into space so he's going to leave that bit out for now.
Summer	Yeah, pretty much the only thing keeping Rick's finger off that ejector button was the fact that he was already going to hear an earful from Beth about this whole thing; he didn't need to make it worse by then just ditching the two of them in space, tempting as it may be. Even if they'd probably be perfectly fine, too, since Barry problably had something in that dumb little backpack of his. But that wouldn't matter to Beth, it would be the principle of the matter... Summer, meanwhile, was more than a little thrown off by Barry's initial reaction. Sure, she didn't know what she was expecting, but she was pretty sure she wasn't expecting that, and, sure, it softened eventually, but not before a hard lump formed in her throat about it. Because now he'd actually seen just how...bad it could get, and the whole thing was a giant mess, and if she'd just stayed home... When that hand offered itself up, Summer took it and tried not to squeeze it too hard while swallowing down that lump. "Please don't deal with my dad's bees," she said, because that was the easiest, and, really, no one should have to deal with Jerry's bees or encourage him. Then she let out a soft grin. "My plan would have totally worked, too, if it wasn't for that stupid asshole Kyle. I knew Kyle was going to give me shit from the moment he hatched." All of twenty hours ago!
Morty	"Did we at least learn something from all of this?" Morty then asked, in a last-ditch desperate bid to make sense out of any of it.
Summer	"That we suck?" Summer offered, because, yeah, there was no good answer to that, Morty. "And everyone sucks?"
Rick	"I guess," Rick allowed, and then considered that ejector button again because he was pretty sure the Boy Wonder back there was going to have something real After School Special to add to all of this in a second, "that...counts..."
Barry	Did Barry have something to add to the moral disgrace that just happened back on that planet. Yes. Tons. Honestly he had a whole rant ready to go until Summer squeezed his hand and started talking about bees. So he didn't rant. Because nothing was going to change Rick and a rant would only make the situation worse. Morty was at least trying to learn something from this fucking mess and Summer was probably going to have PTSD upon her PTSD from the whole experience. So instead he leaned back in the seat and reached out to put a comforting arm around Summer. "I don't know about you guys," he said wearily, "But I'm looking forward to pretending to eat Jerry's fucking lasagna." He was pretty sure everyone was on board with that.
Rick	And that was when an awkward silence thick enough to chew seemed to settle inside the ship. Because while ripping on Jerry was a time-honored family tradition and coping method, this was just your first adventure here, Barry. You kind of had to earn that shit. Just when the silence was about to reach the limit of its dragging discomfort, though, it was Rick who tentatively broke it. "Y-you know what, Barry?" he said. "I think I might've been wrong about you. You...you're alright. When we get back, you'll have to swing by the basement, I got something down there I think you might--"
Summer	"Ohmygod, Grampa!" Summer injected incredulously, sitting up from where she'd just settled back against Barry and his arm. "You are not Mind Blasting my boyfriend! Like he'd even fall for that!"
Morty	"...what's Mind Blasting?" asked Morty, with the wide-eyed wonder of someone who wasn't sure he'd even really want to know.
Rick	"Oh, good one, Summer," Rick grimaced irritable, "now I have to Mind Blast Morty, too."
Summer	"Well maybe," said Summer, "if you didn't keep Mind Blasting him about Mind Blasting, you wouldn't have to Mind Blast him at all!"
Morty	"What's Mind Blasting?" asked Morty, again, but more desperate.
Rick	"I should probably just Mind Blast all of you and be done with it," Rick decided.
Summer	"Good!" Summer retorted dramatically. "I wish you would! Mind Blast my existence in this entire family right out of my brain!" She fell back against the seat again, arms folded tightly in front of her. "God! How long is this going to take? Can't this piece of shit go any faster?"
Rick	"This peace of shit is a classic, Summer, show some respect! We can't all have shiny Space Battles Barbie knock-offs like you. If you're in such a hurry to get home, why don't you just use your portal gun? Oh, wait, that's right, you can't, because you didn't bring it."
Summer	"Oh, what? Like you've never forgotten your portal gun before?"
Rick	"I...haven't."
Summer	"Oh, yeah? Then why did bring the car instead of just portaling us in and out of there, Grampa Rick, huh? "That's what I thought," Summer's voice was smug when there was no response to that, shaking her head at Barry and mouthing an ohmygod with an epic can you believe what I have to deal with? roll of her eyes. And then she closed those eyes as she settled back against him, resting her head on his shoulder, because she was all of a sudden just really fucking exhausted.
Barry	Yeeeeeeeah. Barry felt that ominous awkward pause pretty heavy. He almost welcomed Rick's comment and was about to say something snarky before Summer started her rant on 'mind blasting' and the train wreck of a conversation that happened from there. This... shut up Barry. He had done his own version of memory wipes in his time. Some for the greater good. Some for his own personal selfishness. And with the conversation happening in front of him? It felt fucking uncomfortable. As much as he hated to admit it... Rick was a dark reflection of Barry. A future that could have been if Barry had gone down a different road at one point. So he said nothing. He let Summer snuggle into his shoulder and said nothing, not even looking at Rick or Morty. And hoped there wouldn't be any further conversation until they got home.
Rick	There wasn't. And, thankfully, at this point, they didn't have much further to go, anyway, before the ship was being parked in the driveway of the Smith residence. "Well, here we are," Rick announced needlessly, mostly just because all that silence was awkward as fuck, "home sweet," insert belch here, "home." He opened the doors with another jangle of beer bottles falling out to the concrete. "C'mon, Morty, we'll go through the garage."
Summer	Summer pulled away from Barry and offered a faint smile before cocking her head toward the front door and heading that way. She felt like maybe she should say something, but she didn't know what, and she also didn't know what Barry might have to say, but she wasn't sure she wanted to hear it, and she felt incredibly glad to open the door and walk in and have her parents there to greet and distract them.
Jerry	"Hey, you're back!" said Jerry, looking up from where he was futzing with his tablet on the couch. "That a new outfit, sweetie? It's...nice! Lemme just grab the lasagna, we've been keeping it warm in the oven--"
Summer	"Actually, Dad?" Summer stopped him before he got to far, giving him a small smile. "If it's okay, I've...kind of had a rough couple of days, you know? And we still have to pack for our trip to Japan tomorrow. Do you...think it'd be okay if maybe we just kind of took a raincheck? We'll owe you one."
Jerry	Jerry's shoulders slumped a little with disappointment, but as his eyes traveled from Summer to Barry and then toward the sounds he heard going on in the garage, he just smiled back at Summer and nodded. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, of...of course, sweetie. Let me at least wrap some up for you, though; you two can take it to go."
Summer	"Thanks, Dad," said Summer, with an outpouring of genuine gratitude in her voice as she watched him head toward the kitchen, then turned toward Barry. "I mean," she said, "if that's okay. Don't worry about them, though." As if how it might reflect on them for ducking out on dinner was the biggest issue at the moment. "They get it."
Barry	Oh. Gee. And miss the vegetarian lasagna? Color Barry in sad tones. Nope. He was ready to blow out of here and call it done. However the look on Summer's face was enough to make Barry realize a softer moment might be needed here. Barry leaned in and just gave Summer a small kiss on the cheek and offered up a hug for her. "It's been a fucking day," Barry agreed. "Come on. Let's just go back to my place and watch a shitty movie. I'll even get you some shitty wine coolers or whatever you want to relax for the night."
Summer	Oh, yeah, sure, and just spend the whole time thinking about how they should probably be talking about some of this and how probably not a lot of that talk would be good, so she'd be too distracted wondering what the fuck Barry was thinking about all of this to enjoy the dumb movie and too nauseous about it to enjoy the wine coolers, too. "You know, that sounds really great," said Summer, who was pretty sure that the soft smile on her face that the kiss on cheek managed to get out of her was the only thing keeping her exhaustion from turning her tone toward a sarcasm she wouldn't have meant, as she pulled out her phone to tap into her portalocity app, "but I think I just need to go home and crash..." So with a few more taps, there was their portal, and Summer really didn't bother waiting before going through it, which would land the right outside of MHA. She did, though, wait until Barry was through before she would head inside. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?"
Barry	Barry frowned but stepped through the portal. "Right." He stood there looking at Summer feeling both sad for her and frustrated. Sad, because he knew there wasn't much he could do to make her feel better... Frustrated because he could almost fix anything. Create anything. Hell, he once came up with a cure for an Ebola strain in ten minutes. And yet he couldn't make his girlfriend feel better. "I'll see you." He didn't move though. Just waited. He wasn't sure why but he just did.
Jerry	Clearly, it was so that Jerry could pop his head in through the portal at the last minute with two foil-wrapped bundles in his hands. "Hey, you two! You almost forgot your leftovers!"
Summer	No, Jerry. No, they really had not, but Summer gave the top part of her father a smile as she took them from him. "Thanks, Dad."
Jerry	"Have fun in Japan, okay? Ja matane! That's how you actually say goodbye there, since sayonara is really--
Summer	"Thanks, Dad," Summer said again, a little firmer this time. "We know. That portal's probably about to close up, though, so, you know..."
Jerry	"Right! Got it! See ya, sweetie, nice meeting you, Barry! Better luck next time!"
Summer	With that, Jerry disappeared, as did the portal, and Summer looked down at the leftovers in her hand and passed one over to Barry with the faint beginnings of a genuine smirk. "Bon apetite," she offered, as she handed one over to Barry. "I'm kinda looking forward to see what this turns into after sitting in our fridges all week."
Barry	Barry took the lasagna. And briefly considered running some labs on it. And he still might. But for the moment he was a little more distracted. "You're going to be okay, right?" he asked.
Summer	And Summer was looking down for a moment, at the lasagna in her own hands, as if actually considering how to answer instead of just saying the first snarky, quick-witted thing that came to her mind. "Yeah," she said, nodding a little and lifting her gaze toward Barry with a small, but certain smile, "I'll be okay." No matter what happened, no matter which way it went after this, she was going to be okay. It wouldn't be easy, it would probably be hard, but she'd be okay. She always was. Somehow. "Sorry," she added, leaning in to give him just a small, light kiss, "and....thanks." And, with that, she turned to go inside, before he had a chance to tell her again that she didn't have anything to be sorry about or ask about what she was even thanking him for.

Morty	Meanwhile, back at the Smith household, after a brief visit to the basement for one very selective bit of Mind Blasting, Rick and Morty made it back to the living room, and Morty dropped onto the couch with a sigh of relief and a faint grin at Rick, feeling oddly better about everything now that they were home and everyone was safe and it was now over. "Y'know, Rick," he said, "I know you probably want to...jump right into another...crazy adventure, but...can we just...relax? And maybe watch some interdimensional cable?"
Rick	"Cool if you are," said Rick, as he sat down on the other side of the couch and was feeling pretty ready to put this all behind them as well.
Morty	"Honestly," said Morty, "that sounds great. W-we don't need to try so hard, y'know? We can just...take it easy and riff...y'know? That's what I love about us."
Rick	"Me, too, buddy."
Morty	And so Morty reached for the remote control, clicked the television on, and they both sat there, blissfully ignoring anything at all about the past couple of days while someone droned on about Alzheimer's on the screen. And it seemed like that was how they would spend the rest of their evening until there was a small gurgle from Morty's stomach. And, he thought, one from Rick's as well. "Mmmm, Rick?" he turned a worried glanced toward his grandfather, hand to his suddenly worrisomely upset stomach. "do you feel...?"
Rick	"Oh, god." The dark reality of their situation settled in on them heavily. "I have to shit an egg!"
Morty	Morty cringedaround his torso. "OHGOD," he moaned, panic threatening to superscede the pain, "ohshit, oh god! Oh, it hurts! Oh, god, is this how we die, Rick?" His voice mingled with Rick's own miserable groans. "Is this how we die?!? I don't want to shit an egg!"
Rick	"I'm sorry, Morty!" Rick moaned through the pain, reaching out for his grandson in their moment of mutual torture. "I'm sorry! It's all...it's all my fault!"
Beth	Beth had thought a lot about how she was going to handle things when everyone got home, so, after Jerry explained to her that Summer and Barry had already left, which she did not at all blame them for, she figured she'd best go talk to Rick and Morty. But she'd try to be understanding, so she kept her tone light and bright as she stepped into the living room. "~Hey~, you two--"
Rick	But she didn't get far before Rick stopped her, reaching out toward her now in desperation. "Beth!" he warned her. "Your son is dying! Say goodbye!"
Beth	Of all the things Beth could have prepared herself for, this was not one of them, as she stared in confused horror at her father. "What are you--?"
Rick	"Say goodbye to your little boy!" Before it was too late, Beth!
Morty	"No!" cried out Morty, one hand leaving his stomach as if to keep her back, to force her distance. "Look away! I'm making an egg, Mom! Ueeuuggghh! I'm making an egg!"
Beth	Now that the inital shock of what they were saying had passed, Beth found another emotion slipping in, one that sort of covered how this whole weekend had gone as a whole. "You said," her arms folded angrily across her chest while Rick and Morty writhed in their misery, "you'd keep me more in the loop this year?"
Rick	"Look away, Beth!" Rick insisted over the sound of Morty's ululating screams. "Daddy loves you!"
Morty	"My ass!" Morty screamed, dropping to the floor from the couch, clearing the way for the inevitable explosion by also dropping his pants. "My ass!"
Rick	"This is it, Morty!" cried Rick, doing the same, finding the floor, reaching for Morty's hand. "It's full circle from the pilot!" Their hands found each other and they grasped on tight. "Full circle!" The pain crescendoed with their screams, building, building, building, until... "Oh." Rick sat up as what ended up bursting out of him was not, in fact, some hot wet egg, but instead, was... "I guess we, uh...I guess we both just had to take a shit."
Morty	Well, this was...erm... "Yeah," Morty agreed, definitely avoiding everyone's eyes right now, especially his mothers. "I-I-I guess we, uh..."
Beth	"Fucking gross." Beth was officially done with this day for good, and she was absolutely not dealing with this right now. "Guys!" She turned, throwing up her hands to show just how littel she was going to handle of any of this. "Clean it up."

[[ and ~fin~! Continued from here and here, with so, so, soooooo many apologies for that last part. This wraps up Rick & Morty S04:E07, "Promortyus", with special guest star, the ever amazing badassprodigy, because like I can say no to any plot arc that has Summer taking over and elevating a society in an absurdly small amout of time. thanks for reading! And I still promise I will not be doing the dragon orgy episode, at least? ]]