somethingwithturquoise | Gaia; Galaxy Unknown; Dimension FH-001. Sunday Afternoon [05/30 FT].

With a groan, Morty felt himself coming to again, pushing himself up, which nudged his sister off of him. "Are--are we dead?" he slowly moaned. "D-did we die?"

Summer pushed herself up a little, her head aching, her stomach roiling, her whole body feeling like it had beem chewed up and spit out by the multiverse's worst bad trip ever. "I...don't ever want to be high again," she declared, slumping back against the corridor wall with a hand to her pounding head. "I-I..." Her other hand joined the first. "I got scared straight," she realized. "Ohmygod, I got scared straight!"

This was a lot to handle right now.

Morty	"Fuck!" Morty collapsed against the wall on the other side of the corridor. "Dad was right. We-we think we know everything, but maybe we're the ones who suck."
Summer	"I mean," said Summer, who was still not quite ready to give Jerry even a little credit, "yeah, but let's not get to carried awa--"
Rick	It was then that something sparked against the wall, a bright line appearing and tracing a door, and then the etched out piece of the wall fell away with a clatter as Rick, looking pretty battered and bruised, black eye and everything, himself, stepped forward and gawked at what he did not expect to find waiting there inside. "You kids," he said, "are my fucking heroes!" He rushed toward them, arms lifted with excitement, while all they could do was boggle up at him. "You saved Grampa's life! I fucking love you so much!" He reached down to pull them into an embrace, but all they could do was cling to his arms desperately, grapsing to make sense out of any of what was going on.
Morty	"We played video games and got high!" Morty moaned in a wail of apology, tugging at Rick's arm. "We did wrong! We did wrong!"
Rick	"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa," Rick gushed, reaching out to cradle Morty's poor, distressed, panicked head between his hands. "Little boopas!" He turned so that he could offer Summer that same, reassuring gesture; Morty reached for him, grabbing onto his shirt, not wanting him to go. "Come on, now. You kids!" His tone one of awe, he straightened and lifted his arms open to take in the scene. "You did real good here! You did good! Getting high and playing video games is the best! I swear to fucking God!"
Morty	"But Mom and Dad are gonna be mad!" Morty protested.
Rick	"No, hey," Rick returned to his grandson, cradling his face once more with a beaming smile and a reassuring shake of his head. "hey, look, no. Fuck your mom and dad. Your parents are a bag of dicks! Getting high and playing video games is the best, and I will never sell you out, ever. Now we gotta get out of here before this guy falls out of the sky. He's generating an ionic cloud from his own belief system." But before either of them could even come close to asking Rick what any of that meant, he was moving again, this time toward the wall with the bongs of mysterious vapor. "Holy shit, Summer." His praise was halted a moment so he could gawk at her. "Were you smoking this? You were basically inhaling brake fluid." He moved over to the wall, started plugging the wires and tubes back into place. "Jesus." But not before taking a quick hit for himself. "Mmmm. Yeah." The ship then whirred back to life and, a moment later, shot straight out of the left eye of God, who Rick had been fighting in space, up until the moment the ship had found itself careening straight through the back of his skull. Like you do. And then the body of God did exactly what Rick said it would do, descending with massive force back toward Gaia, until it found itself impaled on the massive city of progress that Rick and Beth had been building as a way to utilize all of Gaia's children into a productive society. With Rick now at the controls of the ship, they coasted down closer to the carnage, where God's large body lay bloodied and massive for all to see, and for them, a bird's eye view, no less.
Morty	"Aww, geez," Morty said, peering sadly out the window. "That--that poor guy..."
Summer	Summer looked out at God's impaled corpse and then back to her grampa. "Can you maybe not tell Mom and Dad we just killed God?"
Rick	"Relax," said Rick. "It's just a Zeus. If this was the real God, it..." He faltered a little. "It'd be a completely different story," he concluded.
Morty	"S...so, wait," said Morty, because they'd clearly been focusing on the B-story here and there might be few holes from the A-story that was mostly irrelevent to the perspective of Summer as the main character in all of this, "y-you and Mom have been building a society with the clay people, and...and...you exiled all the Unproductives, but then they teamed up with Dad, who taught them about camping and...and...tried to fight you all before God showed up to claim that all the mud people were his kids, and...and then you went and fought him up in space, and that's when we showed up and blasted the ship through the back of his head and killed him?"
Rick	"Very good, Morty," Rick belched. "Perfect recap. 10/10."
Summer	"It took you this long to build a society?" Summer, who felt that maybe she was in no position to mock anyone, still couldn't refuse a good chance to do so when it was given to her. "I was able to do all of that in less than a day back when you both abandoned me on--"
Gaia	But she was cut short as a great rumbling emerged from below and Gaia's voice burst angrily through the translate, with plumes of fire to emphasize her point. "RIIIIIICK! What did you DO???"
Rick	"I mean," Rick said, "gravity did most of it. So...you, technically."
Gaia	"I told you," Gaia rumbled with a literal ground-shaking snarl, "to leave!"
Rick	"Yeah, well," said Rick, "you also asked me to raise your kids. Uhhhh, not sure if you've heard the phrase 'pick a lane, but--"
Gaia	"You killed* their father!*"
Rick	"Father or not," Rick countered, "he was a lying piece of shit! I don't care who else stuffed your crust, but I'm the guy that showed up. I mean, if you want, I can still power-wash his guts and maybe--"
Gaia	A flume of hot magma splashed dangerously close to the ship. "GET OUUUUUUT!" Gaia screeched.
Rick	"Okay, yeah," Rick allowed, "she's pissed."
Summer	"I mean," said Summer, "you killed her slam piece, Grampa. I don't blame her."

"Hang on tight, kids," said Rick, clinging onto the controls of the ship as Gaia burst open, spewing out a thick wave of lava, a column of which they barely avoided as they raced forward, trying to beat out the flow before it reached Beth and Jerry, standing in awe at the proceedings from the surface. Rick swung the ship down and lowered the landing poor door just in time for them to crawl in and be flown to safety, back where they'd parked the station wagon, far, far away from the planet's furious destruction of everything Rick and Beth had built.

[[ I can't believe this stupidity is what I spent my weekend on. Anyway! Continued from here transcribed/adapted from S04;E09 of Rick & Morty, "Childrick of Mort", and we are just about done~ Woot. ]]