somethingwithturquoise | Middle of Nowhere, Northern California, Dimension FH-001; Thursday Afternoon [05/27 FT].

"Ugh." Crammed into the back seat of the family car, Summer looked out at the passing landscape of norther California with an almost withering desire to just escape. "What kind of parents drag their grown-ass adult daughter away from her whole-ass life to go camping? You know I'm missing a party this weekend, right?"

"I'm sure you'll have plenty more opportunities to get blasted with your friends another weekend, Summer," Jerry informed her mildly.

"It's not even that kind of party, Dad," Summer grunted, rolling her eyes. "It's a birthday party, like, kid-friendly and everything. It's not all just raves and shit, you know. I'm an equal-opprotunity partier. But, now that you mention it, Mike Triscuit is having a drug party this weekend, too, and look." She turned her phone toward him to view the evidence despite the fact that he was driving and should, you know, keep his eyes on the road. "They've already started pregaming."

"Pregame," Morty murmured, from the middle seat with a deeply fond wistfulness and longing. "Game. Video game..."

"Yes, yes." Unimpressed but determined, Jerry kept his eyes on the road. "Drugs and video games.Poor babies. What you need is to level up with a bong rip of nature!" Terribly proud of himself for that one, he sent a grin through the rear-view mirror at his children. "Trust me, this is good for you."

Summer just melted back into her seat in misery. "Can someone just kill me?"

Summer	But, a moment later, after wondering if her tracking bracelet from Barry had any sort of self-destruct mode she had yet to discover, Summer had another idea. "Grampa Rick," she sat back up, looking past Morty to the third person in the back seat. "You can kill anything!"
Jerry	"No," Jerry insisted, "he can't, Summer. We're roughing it. And that means no sci-fi bullshit. Isn't that right," he glared through the rear-view again, this time to his father-in-law, "Rick?"
Rick	"Uh-huh." The response was not exactly convincing, but, then again, Rick was distracted by the buzzing of his cell phone. He glanced down at it for a moment, pressed a button, and then tucked it back into his pocket with a million-mile stare forward into the back of Jerry's head.
Jerry	Silence settled over the car, until the phone buzzed again, and the car shook as Jerry rumbled over a pothole or a rough patch of road. Or...maybe because of something else entirely. "Rick," Jerry asked, his voice drenching in suspicious accusation, "was that a sci-fi phone call?"
Rick	The phone buzzed a third time, the car shaking even more in tandem with it. "Dammit!" Rick grunted. "I didn't think she had this number!" He reached into the inside pocket of his lab coat, pulling out a small lumpy hunk of metal, adjusting it with a screwdriver to make it more rigid and box-like in form.
Morty	"Why are you builidng a Faraday box," asked Morty, eyes going wide as he realized what was going on, "to block out the signal?"
Summer	"Ohmygod!" Look, Summer was doomed to a weekend of camping and roughing it with no technology for several days with her family, she was going to literally latch onto any blip of excitement in this sad state of existence that she possibly could right now. "Grampa's ghosting someone!"
Rick	"I'm not ghostin--Hey!" Before Rick could argue the point, he let out a yelp of protest as Summer reached over to snatch the phone out of his hands. "Give it back, Summer!"
Summer	"'Rick,'" Summer read eagerly from the phone, "'please answer me. I'm pregnant'?! Ohhhhhhhh mygod." Someone's weekend might have just gotten significantly better because if she couldn't have parties and cell phones, she could at least have some juicy ass drama! Look. She was desperate right now, let her have at least this. "Grampa! You fuckboi!"
Rick	"I'm not a," Rick snatched the phone back from Summer, belched his disapproval, as he rolled down the window and tossed the phone right out of it, "fuckboi, Summer. There's no way those kids are mine."
Jerry	"Wo-ow." Jerry didn't even try to keep the disparaging contempt out of his voice. "At least we know why Rick actually came on the trip..." You were getting such a look through the rear-view, Rick. "To avoid his fuck-guy problems."
Beth	"Why would this perosn lie?" asked Beth, turning now from the passenger-side seat to look at her father with a worried concern.
Rick	"I don't know, honey," Rick told her, shrugging helplessly. "She'd addicted to what the Rick did. Y-you know, it's-it's--it's a tale as old as my huge dynamite penis." Because that was a totally normal thing to say with shameless, cocky pride to one's own daughter. "Can we turn the radio on?" Rick tried, because as much as he loved talking about his huge dynamite penis, this conversation had clearly run its course.
Beth	But Beth was not having it. "I am not letting you abandon those kids," she insisted with a glare, "like you abandoned me!"
Rick	"Ohhhh my god!" Rick's palm met his face, hardly able to believe that this was his life right now.
Beth	"We're going to see this baby mama right now!" Beth declared.
Rick	"What, like, literally now?"
Beth	"Yes, now!" Beth's fist tightened with conviction. "That's an order!"
Rick	With a long, frustrated, yet fully resigned groan, Rick rolled his eyes, reached into his lab coat again to retrieve a small, blue glowing metal disc. Reaching out through the window, he placed it on the top of the station wagon, and switched it on, initiating a sequence that started to transform the car. Not only did the doors shift and move to become wings and the back folded out to reveal rocket boosters, but the seats of the car itself shifted, too, placing Rick firmly behind the wheel and dumping Jerry in the back with all their luggage.
Jerry	"This is exactly what I was talking about!" Jerry complained after letting out a frustrated shout of surprise, while the car lifted off the road and started heading toward the sky, and the kids, sensing the shift in the power dynamic, immediately had out their various devices and already started clicking away. "Rick! I hope you realize the tubing permit was non-refundable!"
Rick	"Relax, Jerry," Rick, grimacing, informed him. "We'll be in and out in a minute, then you can get right back to your dumb vacation with a family that doesn't need you."
Jerry	Silence stretched out after that statement, spoiled only by the blips of Morty's video game and the light clicking of Summer texting and liking a few Instagram posts while she had the chance. "...kind of expected someone to defend me," Jerry groused, before slowly sinking into the luggage in the back seat, "but...sure....okay..."

Rick	The trip took a little longer in the station wagon than it would have in Rick's ship, but, eventually, they approached a large red planet cloaked in whisps of atmosphere. "Hello, Gaia!" Rick called out, reaching up at a console over his head, and then reaching for the dashboard. "Hold on," he said, "let me adjust my Seismic-to-English translator."
Gaia	Slowly, a faint voice came through the speakers, soft and hopeful. "Rick. You came."
Morty	"W-where is she?" asked Morty.
Rick	"You're looking at her," said Rick, as they continued to slowly approach their destination.
Morty	"I-I-I-I," Morty stammered, "I don't understand."
Rick	"Isn't it obvious, Morty?" said Rick, annoyed that he'd even need to explain this. "I fucked a planet."

[[ taken and slightly adapted from S04;E09 of Rick & Morty, "Childrick of Mort." I swear, the planet-fucking episode does have important character development and plot points! ANYWAY, NFB for distance, open for texts and calls while Summer's still reachable, OOC is always welcome, preplayed with myself and hopefully TBC at some point if I have the time! ]]