I'm gonna move to the southwest, and, I don't know...

Despite the pile of dead Varrix corpses that littered the ground at the mouth of the cave, more of them still emerged, as Summer, Morty, and their father fought tirelessly against the swarming horde. Summer stabbed her pitchfork down into her latest assailant while another lunged for Jerry, who swung his ax, sending the head flying.

"No, Dad!" Morty bemoaned as the head hit the ground, sprouted legs, and hissed angrily up at them. Morty swiftly stabbed his sword into its skull. "You’re not doing it right!"

( Cutting off their heads isn't doing it right? )

"With a hunt?" Jerry ventured, although he totally already knew the answer.

"Yes," Keara nodded, then turned to walk away. "For tomorrow, we hunt."


****

It rained later that day, as Jerry drove Summer and Morty back to the house. For a long moment, after he'd pulled the station wagon in front of the garage, they all just sat there in a shared stunned silence, still covered in the blue blood of the Varrix they'd massacred and the dirt and the grime of the battlefield.

Finally, Jerry cleared his throat.

( I, uh, really have to get out of this soul bond. )

"Wait, wait, what?"

The car doors slammed behind them.

"Oh, man."

[[more bits from S03E09, "The ABC's of Beth," from Rick and Morty. Open if'n you want! ]]

The morning after Christmas was a quiet one in the Smith household, really not a whole lot different than any other morning. Summer and Morty shared the couch, texting away on their phones, while Beth sat with her newspaper and the TV droned on in the background. The same old boring news as usual, except for one thing that seemed to leap off the screen straight into Beth's ears.

( Cut for murder and cannibalism, because that's my canon. )

"I gotta say," said Beth, "I am warming up to the bubble gun."

******

A short time later, two bubbled containing the Smith sibling crashed into the door of Apartment 826, popping and dumping them on he porch, each of them gasping for the sweet rush of air into their lungs.

"Ugh!" Summer shouted as she got to her feet. "I hate this stupid split holiday thing! Whose idea was this?"

"I think it’s supposed to help prevent abandonment issues," Morty offered.

"I want to be abandoned!" Summer insisted.

"Yeah," Morty avoided her eyes, "I’m talking about Dad."

( In which the Smith kids meet their dad's surprise hot alien girlfriend. )

"I hate to see her leave," Jerry smirked, "but I love to watch her phase shift away. I’m sure you noticed what she has three of, but guess what she has two of?"

Summer and Morty were not even going to grace that with any response other than a glare.



[[ nothing like the holidays to do a little canon delving! Transcribed from S03E09 of Rick and Morty, "The ABC's of Beth" with more to come in a little bit...totally open for calls or texts]]

As Summer pulled the junker jeep into the driveway of her post-apocalyptic suburban home, she braked just a little too hard, toppling over the grocery bag filled with the spoils of her raid: some wilted lettuce, a shitty orange, some sticks, an honestly really spindly arm, and some half-eaten meat on a bone. "Ugh," she muttered, sweeping down to pick it up as she climbed out of the car, including the jawless head that fell out onto the driveway. "Goddamn it."

"Hi, there, Summer!" called Eli from the lawn next door, pausing his mowing to give her a wave. "How were the ruins today?"

( I was a monster when you met me! )

Summer reached up to take the metal shoulders from her sweet raider ensemble and threw them to the ground. "Oh, cut the crap, Rick, okay? You proved your point, I get it. Let's just go home."

"Coolsies." Rick shot a portal into the ground, and Summer and Morty wasted no time in jumping in. Rick was soon to follow, but not before grabbing the small core of Isotope 322 in the generator that ran the electricity throughout the town, plunging it into an electricty-less darkness. And over the darkened streets and ramshackle homes, a shocked cry of realization emerged from Hemhorrage like an animal cry.

"Noooooooo!"
_____________________


Back at the Smith household, Beth eagerly tossed a pair of dice from a shaken cup onto the the table, took a look at her roll, and smacked her hand down on a button at the center of the table shared with the robot version of her daughter, her son, and her father. "Downbeat!"

"I enjoy this game," said Rick as Beth turned her bright grin toward them. It was a grin that fell quickly when a small beep drew their attention down to the watches on their wrists all in unison.

"We must go into the garage," Rick announced.

( I want to taste ice cream, but not just put it in my mouth and let it slide down my throat, but really eat it! )

"Ah, I'm sure it was nothing," Rick said, turning. "I'm gonna go, uh, work in the garage."

"We're not gonna finish playing Downbeat?" Beth asked.

"What," said Rick, "that dice game where you shake dice and yell out, 'Downbeat'? No, thank you."

"Mom," Summer asked, "would it be okay if I went to visit Dad?"

"Sure," she said with a small, uncertain smile.

"Thanks."

_________

Summer stood outside her dad's apartment, comfortable again in her own clothes, but not so much with her surroundings. She lifted her free hand, as the other one was holding a three-eyed skull with teeth and horns, knocked on the door, shifting a little as she waited for him to open it.

"Summer." The surprise was evident in Jerry's voice, but she didn't give him time to make a big deal out of it. She had her own big deal she was trying to make.

( Dad? I wanted to give you this as a reminder not to look back. )

"Soooo..." Summer said cautiously once she let go, glancing briefly over her shoulder to the parking lot of Jerry's shitty apartment complex, "lots of hookers outside, huh?"

"Is that what they are?"

Oh, Jerry. And you were doing so well...

[[ and fin! transcribed from S3;E2 of Rick and Morty, "Rickmancing the Stone." open for text and calls if'n you'd like! Summer will be back and normal (relatively speaking) tomorrow! ]]

The Death Stalkers had finally returned from their long raid in what used to be Vancouver, which was usually cause for a celebration of epic proportions, but Summer had returned with bigger fish to fry. She'd been with a metaphorical landmine in her pocket since Sunday and she needed some answers, hopping right off the rig before it even stopped and stomping over to the newly constructed domicile she'd be sharing with Hemmhorage, her brother, and her grampa.

"RICK!" she demanded.

"He-hey, Sum-Sum!" Rick greeted her with a belch and a grin. "L-look at this, urrrp, actual doors! How you like...how you like them apples?"

( How about you tell me why my bus driver best friend from Fandom was texting me about some robot attending my school right now? )

And hey! Guess it was a good thing to have real, actual, closeable doors again, because now she could gloriously slam it behind her to better show off her annoyance and rage.

"Okay, sweetie!" Rick called out to the closed door, continuing whatever it was he was working on. "You go on ahead and go push aside all your issues with violence in a completely healthy and perfect normal wa-a-urrpay! Don't be late for dinner!"


[[establishly, though she does have her phone for texting or calls. Also, writing Rick is hard as hell. I'm clearly not drunk enough right now to do it to its full potential]]

The Death Stalkers seemed to flourish in that one day between Rick's Abandonment and his Return, with Hemorrhage at the helm and Summer at his side. She had adapted, as she would always do, fully embracing this new wild kingdom. She felt, sometimes, that she now understood the version of herself she had met in Dimension C-137, letting her hair down, letting it get messy, donning an outfit truly worthy of a post-apocalyptic queen, a cool new silver face tattoo to match her big metal shoulder pads and steel grey dress. She'd gotten wind that Rick had returned to this land, so, naturally, they would ride out to meet him, but he'd better be ready. Rick Sanchez had hell to pay.

"The reason I wanted this," said Rick, approaching Summer and Hemorrhage with Morty (no longer with his monster arm) in tow, the ball of Isotope 322 in his hands, "is because....it can do this."

He took a light bulb from his pocket and held it to the glowing green mass. And the light bulb shined brightly, buzzing faintly.

"This is a really special thing," he continued. "I mean, you could use it to power all your vehicles. You wouldn't be reliant on gasoline. You'll be the most advanced tribe of radioactive cannibals in the whole...this version of....the world."

Without hesitation, Hemorrhage grabbed the Isotope and pulled in into his possession. Without another word, Rick aimed his portal gun at the ground and stepped forward, ready to disappear again with Morty, though Summer was clearly not making any move forward to join them.

But Hemorrhage stopped him. "Wait. Can you stay to show us more?"

"You don't have to ask me twice," Rick said happily, pocketing the portal gun. "Home is nuts right now. My daughter's going through a divorce, and I am not dealing with it in a healthy way at aaall."

[[FIN]]

And so there was another chase across the barren landscape of what used to be the Pacific Northwest, only this time, it was just Rick and the giant ball of Isotope 322 being chased by the Death Stalkers and his grandkids.

"Grandpa," Summer shouted from the passenger side of Hemorrhage's rig as they nearly pulled up next to him, "you're being stupid! Just surrender, and our friends will give you mercy!"

( Kiss my ass, Summer! )

Rick shot his portal gun into the ground. The front end of his vehicle fell in, while the tail end remained, sticking out just enough for the vehicle behind him to crash into it and spin up into the air. Because there hadn't been enough trucks and cars spinning wildly and crashing gloriously into the ground yet that day.

Leaving Summer and Morty behind. Possibly forever. Because fuck that noise.


______________________________________________

There they were. Summer and Morty Smith, stuck in post-apocalyptic Earth, abandoned by their Grampa, dealing poorly with their parents divorce and Morty had a monster arm with a mind of its own. Summer was just....going to let Morty deal with that for a moment. That arm had a lot of pent up aggression and a vendetta it needed to fulfill, but he seemed to be doing okay with it in the ThunderBlood Dome. Summer thought it might be best if she did a little damage control, with the one person left that she thought maybe she could depend on in this Rick-forsaken world.

( Do you guys have the phrase 'a hat on a hat'? )

"Hey, I'm doing a coffee run--" he started, but he didn't get far before noticing the hot and heavy make-out session going on. "Neeever mind," he sang, quietly backing right back out and giving them their privacy.


[[ Part 4 of 4! Continued from here, here, and here! There's more tomorrow, but I figured I'd leave ya'all on the cliffhanger. Can be open to any calls, texts, or ooc, though Summer might be a little, uh, distracted for a bit, ahem]]

A portal opened in the ceiling of the garage of the Smith house, spitting out the bodies of Rick and his two grandchildren. They had barely landed on the cold cement before Morty started complaining. "Summer! Next time we're hiding in a Chlorkian echo nest, can you do me a favor and turn your ringer off?"

( Carp'en all them diems. )

Leaving Jerry nothing left to do but turn around and leave as well, into the driveway, with his U-To trailer waiting with what meager belongings he had left to his name. And as he stood contemplating all the things that had gone wrong, finally, seemingly destroyed once and for all, a wind stirred, disturbing a wind chime in the neighbor's yard, causing the leaves to dance and brush against the concrete, almost like they were whispering softly.

Looooooserrrrrr.

"What? Hello?"

But no one was there.

[[oh boy, here I go canon catch-uping again! Part 2, electric catch-up-a-loo. This here's part one of ??, pretty much transcribed verbatim from Season 3, Episode 2, "Rickmancing the Stone," so spoiler warning is firmly in place.]]

"Summer, where have you been?"

So Summer's attempt to slip back into the house without dealing with any of her family had failed, and she let out a faint grunt. "Out celebrating," she answered her mother, rolling her eyes, trying not to wince at the hangover headache. "Duh. I don't know if you've noticed, but we're kind of free from Galactic Federation tyranny now. It's pretty much been a non-stop party out there since--"

It was then that she noticed that Beth had a manila folder in front of her on the counter, one that she held closed with a hand and a sigh. Summer narrowed her eyes, looking at the folder, looking up at her mother. "What's that?" And then a terrible thought struck her. "Who was in that car leaving our house just now?"

Beth hesitated, as if deciding whether to say anything. "That," she said, "was my lawyer, and these are divorce papers."

Summer stared at her. "You can't be serious."

"As serious as proud flesh on a horse's lower limb," said Beth "I mean it this time, too. Your father--"

"What was all that you said to me about not deifying people who abandon you, Mom?" Summer demanded. "And now you're just going to abandon Dad? What was all that about showing him some respect, huh?"

"Funny how you seem to remember so much of what I said, Summer, and yet you fail to remember the part of your father giving me an ultimatum."

"Yeah, but you guys always do this. You always fight and threaten divorce, but then something happens and you're back to being, like, totally in love or whatever. But all of a sudden, you've both grown a pair of balls and are going to stick with it?"

"If you see your father," said Beth, "tell him to come down and sign the papers. He should be upstairs, packing."

And Summer stared at her mother and her cold response for a long, long moment. She didn't know if it was the hangover or what that was talking, but she definitely seemed unable to process this right now. She blinked, shook her head, and headed for the fridge to grab a soda. "Yeah, okay, whatever," said Summer. "It doesn't matter anyway. Ethan's coming over later; tell him I'll be in my room."

Lawyers. Papers. They were actually going through with it, after going back and forth for almost as long as Summer could remember. What. The. Hell. She was definitely too hung over to deal with this.

Because an overgrown world with feral versions of her family wasn't enough of a mind-fuck for Summer today, she was now being marched through a new location in handcuffs, feeling equal parts awe and fear. "A city of Grampas?"

"It's the Citadel of Ricks," Morty explained. "All the different Ricks from all the different realities got together to hide here from the government."

( He's not a villain, Summer, but he shouldn't be your hero. )

And back on Earth, in what used to be the White House, a whole bunch of Gromflomites struggled to make sense of it all as their single centralized galactic currency dropped from being worth one of itself, to being worth zero of itself. And since no one is willing to do anything about it without the promise of money, which no one has any longer, the Federation descended into complete anarchy, its members fighting over the most menial of material possessions until they all jumped ship and started for the stars, abandoning Earth once and for all.


[[awww, yeah, I'm going to squirt canon ketchup all over this fandom hot dog. Cut for spoilers and length (and a lot of swearing), part 3 of 4, continued from here and here.]]

Funny how one riled up conversation in a diner before leaving and then less than 24 hours of arriving back home was more than enough to remind Summer just how much the Galactic Federation sucked and how badly she wanted things to go back to the way they were. How oblivious and submissive to it all everyone seemed. How her Grampa Rick was probably festering away while they continued existence in a world where frequent DNA scans and eating pills for meals was totally normal. And all it took was one meal to make her snap.

( Maybe I just want you to care if I run away yelling! )

_________________________________

Summer didn't stay in her room for long, though it had been long enough for the sun to set and a small thunderstorm to roll in. Her father's obliviousness, her mother's drunkeness and self-pity, Morty's entire weak apathy about it all, just stewed inside of her until she couldn't take it any more. Sure, she had planned to do some investigating throughout the week before heading back to school, but she needed to see what she could find now. She just had to!

( I'll make it up as I go. That's what Grampa Rick does. That's what heroes do. )

"That's my sister," Morty said. "This used to be my home."

[[ooooo-weee! Did someone say canon catch-up? 'Cause this here's the first slice of a nice, fat canon catch-up pie. Part one of...ohgod. So many. Transcribed pretty much directly from Season 3, Episode 1 "The Rickshank Redemption," so, you know, totally spoilies and such]]