Summer Smith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
somethingwithturquoise) wrote2021-04-28 04:09 am
somethingwithturquoise) wrote2021-04-28 04:09 am
MHA #4; Wednesday [04/28].
There were no jello shots at Caritas tonight.
In fact, there was no Summer at Caritas tonight, either.
What would even be the point? The island was going crazy, and everyone should probably stay at home! Sure, Caritas was a safe space, and that was good if anyone needed it, and it was literally right across the street so it wouldn't take long to get there, but, knowing her luck? Ha! She'd probably be dead before she barely stepped out the door!
Not that she figured she was much safer in her own apartment, because she did not at all trust those looks Pancakes was giving her, and this wouldn't even be the first time a pet had threatened her! At least Pancakes didn't have a mech suit, though!
....YET.
Besides, she was thoroughly convinced that anyone who actually did go to Caritas would have a much better time without her there. Because that's just how it was. Things were always better without her. Just look at her parents' lives if she hadn't been born, and the Resistance was probably thriving now that she was out of the picture. Why do you think Grampa Rick only ever wanted to take Morty on adventures and never her? Because she sucked. And things always sucked more when she was involved. Tino didn't need her there. Tino probably didn't even want her there.
No one did.
And it definitely didn't help that Summer just could not stop doomscrolling through all the happy, perfect posts from people on all her socials, almost as if something that knew it would only exacerbate these feelings was compelling her to keep doing so.
[[ very much open! with potential bouts of SP because work has been stupid stressful lately, ugh ]]
In fact, there was no Summer at Caritas tonight, either.
What would even be the point? The island was going crazy, and everyone should probably stay at home! Sure, Caritas was a safe space, and that was good if anyone needed it, and it was literally right across the street so it wouldn't take long to get there, but, knowing her luck? Ha! She'd probably be dead before she barely stepped out the door!
Not that she figured she was much safer in her own apartment, because she did not at all trust those looks Pancakes was giving her, and this wouldn't even be the first time a pet had threatened her! At least Pancakes didn't have a mech suit, though!
....YET.
Besides, she was thoroughly convinced that anyone who actually did go to Caritas would have a much better time without her there. Because that's just how it was. Things were always better without her. Just look at her parents' lives if she hadn't been born, and the Resistance was probably thriving now that she was out of the picture. Why do you think Grampa Rick only ever wanted to take Morty on adventures and never her? Because she sucked. And things always sucked more when she was involved. Tino didn't need her there. Tino probably didn't even want her there.
No one did.
And it definitely didn't help that Summer just could not stop doomscrolling through all the happy, perfect posts from people on all her socials, almost as if something that knew it would only exacerbate these feelings was compelling her to keep doing so.
[[ very much open! with potential bouts of SP because work has been stupid stressful lately, ugh ]]
no subject
And then where would they all be?
Summer bit her lip, half-wondering what would happen if she said no.
To either of those questions.
Then she breathed out, stepped herself, reminded herself that the quickest cuts hurt the least, and finally got up to go open the door.
"Okay," she said, once it was open, "let's just get it over with."
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“Get what over with?” He asked, looking extremely concerned now. “What’d I do now? Did I fuck up something?”
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But that sliver had a lot to contend with right now. And Summer suddenly felt very strange, like whatever that sliver was, it was being forced into her stomach instead, ready to whither into something else entirely.
"Didn't you--" she started, bit she couldn't form the words, her mouth was too dry. She licked her lips, nervously, futilely, and tried for the only thing left, a bewildered, befuddled, "Why are you here?"
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Yes, he might be feeling existential dread but he still was going to tease her about that.
"You do know that this island is fucking messing with our heads, right?" he asked. "I don't know how it's fucking doing it and it's driving me fucking nuts because everybody is freaking out but... whatever. I just want to make sure you're safe."
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Only to have it disappear entirely, and she scoffed, shaking her head.
"Yeah, okay, Barry." She couldn't even keep the dismissiveness out of her voice if she'd even thought to try. "Like there isn't a million other things more important than that right now."
Like, literally everything?
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"Not to me," he replied meekly.
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Summer's frown deepened. Something inside of her suddenly felt...unbalanced. The slivers were threatening to turn into cracks; the narrative was getting unstable.
It might need to dig into something else.
"Uuggghhhh!" Summer's eyes clenched shut her hands went to her head as if suddenly in pain, although it wasn't at all physical. "What is going on? I feel like my brain is short-curcuiting!"
It didn't have to dig very deep.
This chick was a goldmine.
And just like that, Summer gasped, eyes flying back open, wide and trembling.
"Fuck," she said.
"Fuckfuckfuck!" she added, turning away and rushing for the kitchen.
Because a sudden outburst like that shouldn't cause any particularly useful residual effects or anything, right?
no subject
"What? What?!" He shouted, rushing after Summer. "Seriously?! I don't know what the fuck is going on here! What the fuck did I do?"
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"Where is it?" she asked, giving up on ome drawer and moving to a cupboard, then back to another drawer, sending take-out menus flying. "Goddammit. Where is it?"
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"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Slow the fuck down!" he called out. "Summer! What's wrong?"
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Her eyes turned wide toward him . "Wait. Barry. You would be able to tell pretty easily if Grampa Rick replaced me with a robot again, right?"
That's right. This had taken a hard swing right into 'my grampa replaced me with a robot again' territory now.
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"What? Of course," Barry said looking worried. "That kind of power system would fuck up instrumentation back in my lab and-"
He stopped because right now he had no idea where Summer's thoughts were going right now. Well. Maybe. He tried to gently pull her closer to himself in an effort to provide some sort of comfort.
"Summer. It's me. I'm not a robot and I'm not going fucking anywhere."
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But could she really trust him? The thought that he might be a robot hadn't even crossed her mind! Maybe Grampa Rock had improved everything, made it more...organic than last time, maybe magnets wouldn't do shit, maybe it was more of a clone situation like with her mother. Maybe Barry preferred her as a robot. Maybe it was better this way....
So not even Summer knew where he thoughts were going right now, they were going everywhere, and in the midst of it all, it was almost as if they were too much to hold, and one thing came spilling out of her, maybe because he said he wasn't going anywhere, maybe because out of everything, in that moment, it seemed the scariest, worse than being a robot or a clone or stepping outside and being attacked or through a portal and winding up nothing but exploded guts on some far-flung planetoid just because she didn't have a toothpick....
"I thought you were coming over to break up with me," she blurted out.
Nope, scratch that. There was something scarier than that, and that was the idea that she would actually say that outloud right now, and there they were.
no subject
"Seriously?" he let out a small sigh of relief/half laugh before attempting to gently pull Summer into a hug. Nothing fast or anything, he certainly didn't want to spook her. "Come here."
He let out a long sigh.
"Summer, I'd have to be the world's biggest fucking moron to do that," he said quietly and calmly. "I've done some stupid shit when it comes to relationships but I know what we have here and I'm not giving up on this. Don't let this place fuck with your head. All right?"
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"Would you be, though?" she countered, half-wondering why she was even arguing the point, half-believing she had to. "I'm pretty sure it's actually the opposite. How do we know it's not your head being fucked with right now?"
Because she was pretty sure you'd have to be pretty fucked in the head to actually believe some of what Barry was saying.
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“All I know is that last week and the week before that and all the weeks going all the way back to when we went to that planet, I’ve never been happier. And even this week I know I don’t want that to change,” he said honestly and pleadingly. “And if that doesn’t convince you, tell me what I have to do to change your mind. Because I’m not going anywhere until you’re convinced. “
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"I should probably get you a drink or something, then," she said, turning back toward the cabinets. "Tea?"
Because, yeah. All that did was make her really wonder just why it was apparently so important to lure her into that kind of security just to delay the inevitable.
But....damn. If there wasn't a part of her that just wanted desperately to believe it.
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Okay. Not the reaction he expected. Honestly it felt like a boxing round had just ended with the realization that he had nine more rounds to go.
“Yeah. Okay,” he said taking a seat in one of the chairs in the kitchen. “Sure. I can start there. But nothing from Seivarden’s dimension. I definitely need something light.”
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But she did pick something out and went to get some water going.
"There's jello shots, too," she offered. "I still tried to make some. They're totally terrible disasters, though, and definitely contain my literal tears, though, fair warning."
It had definitely been a day.
no subject
Barry gave Summer a look of empathy. “I will take whatever you want me to take. Tea. Tears. Jell-O shots good or bad. I’m not leaving until we are fucking solid.” He said sincerely. “Whatever it takes.”