somethingwithturquoise | MHA #4; Friday Evening [09/11].

Barry was feeling very confident today. Yep. He had spent a good portion of yesterday creating an algorithm that would select the perfect movie for a date night with Summer that we’re now downloaded to his phone and ready to stream to any television.

And he had pizza.

So it was with a smile on his face and a spring in his his step as he approached and knocked on Summer’s door.

There may have been some bouncing steps on the other side of that door, too, but that was a little more expected.

And when Summer opened it, there was a small bit of relief that it was actually Barry and not someone or something else (because, let's face it, around here, you could never be too sure, especially going into a weekend), and she immediately could not stop grinning.

Depsite this, she felt that her "Hey" as she opened the door more and stepped aside to let him in was very chill and cool.

It was very chill and cool! And Barry's grin got a tiny bit bigger as he walked in. "Hi!"

And then after a moment's hesitation he awkwardly leaned in to give Summer a kiss on the cheek. They were doing that right? Kisses to go with the 'hello'?

"I think I've got the movie locked down for tonight," he said with some solid confidence. "Ready to be dazzled with my choices?"

Kisses to go with the 'hello' were definitely welcome, encouraged, and encouraging, though they weren't doing much to help with the grinning at all.

"So ready," she enthused, as the building, buzzing mystery in her head over what he might actually pick would be coming to a swift conclusion soon. Would it be some personal favorite with a lot of meaning to him? Something he'd chosen just to seem impressive or whatever? Some dumb action flick to match what she'd already brought to the table? Ultimately, she supposed it didn't really matter, but it was hard not to be eager to find out.

"Don't tell me, though!" she added. "I want to go in completely blind. You set it up while I get drinks for us. Just water again?"

"You know what? I'll have whatever your having," Barry decided as he thought it over. "Why not? Right?"

Right? Sure. One drink wasn't the end of the world.

He pulled out his tablet; checked the TV and started to make the appropriate setting changes on his tablet to stream the selected movie. "And I will let the movie be a surprise. I built an entire algorithm for you and tapped into the Interdimensional Movie Database to help narrow down the choices."

Because he's a nerd.

And that put Summer in a moment of indecision, because she could just play it safe with soda or water or something, knowing Barry didn't really drink much, buuuut she was rarely one to want to turn down an opportunity when it presented itself, so now she was just going to spend a little longer than expected in the kitchen to whip up something a little extra, because, dammit, if you could be extra, be extra.

But she did have a little bit of a quirked eyebrow when she went to join Barry and handed over his drink, even if that sounded like his own version of extra.

"An algorithm?" she asked, as she sat down on the couch. "Couldn't you have just...I don't know...picked a movie you liked?"

Especially since that could not only be a peek into that big brain of his but also be something he'd already seen before, and therefor not too heartbroken about it if he just so happened to miss a bunch of it?

If Barry had a single clue what Summer was thinking about he'd be far from heartbroken.

"Well... I was part of that algorithm as well," Barry replied with a small grin. "I mean I don't want to see a movie that fucking sucks, right?"

He accepted the drink and took a sip. "Nice," he said before noticing that Pancakes wasn't around. "Hey, where's Pancakes?"

"Yeah, right," Summer scoffed, shooting him a smirk, "like any movie pumped out of an algorithm based on me could ever possibly suck.

"And she's in the other room," she said, cocking her head that way, "probably contemplating the space between where her tail ends and the world begins."

Barry gave her an amused look. "Did you fucking drug your cat or something?" he asked as he tapped on the button to start streaming the movie. "Which could be a good thing because I'm not done with that box I'm making for her."

The one that had way too many accessories a cat should need.

"I think you'll like this," Barry said motioning to the screen as the title of the movie came up. "This is from a dimension where Cameron made those ~~meta~~ Avatar movies before this one so he didn't get as much shit for the budget and could make an entire ship instead of just half of one."

Which just seemed like a perfect recipe to lead teh cat to completely shun the whole thing.

"It's just catnip," Summer reasoned, although maybe she'd leave out the details about it being a particular potent strain from another planet. "And trust me, she is not going to complain, that cat enjoys getting high almost as much as I do, which I know for a fact, because she told me as much one weekend when all the animals could suddenly talk."

God, that was a great weekend. She gave Barry a little grin, thoughm eager to move on because she didn't really have a gauge on how he'd feel about that sort of thing, but it was probably an aspect of her personality that was going to come up eventually, so might as well drop it in and keep going onto something a little more important.

"It should buy us a little more privacy, anyway," she said, before shifting gears more fully, "and ohmygod, did you actually find a weird alternate dimension version of that ~~meta~~Titanic movie? My dad is obsessed with this crap!"

And though the words might have been critical out of anyone else, Summer actually sounded a little thrilled. Other dimension versions of stuff could get really weird and mind-fucky-y, but not enough that she'd feel bad about missing much of it herself, and there definitely a vibe to it that might help with the mood she was trying to set here, so...yeah. Yeah, this could totally work.

"Do you think he managed to trim down the run time in this one?" she wondered, before an even more amazing, dumber thought hit her. "Ohgod, what if it's even longer?"

Edited 2020-09-11 14:42 (UTC)

Barry was not about to quibble about giving catnip to Pancakes. In fact the fact they had more privacy sent him down a rabbit hole of thought about what that meant and-

Nope. Sticking to just thoughts about the movie and current conversation. Stay on target, Barry.

"Well the run-time is longer," Barry admitted. "But as a bonus, 'My heart will go on' is sung by Adele instead of Celine Dion. So it kind of balances out. Also the cast is a little different from the original and DiCaprio actually won an Oscar for this."

"Whaaaaaaaaat." That was exactly the kind of mind-fuckery Summer had been hoping for, all those things that were just slightly off to make you feel delicate imbalance of things being a little off kilter, enough so that now she was actually staying on the supposed target of this evening and forgetting to try to veer things away from the movie and anything having to do with conversation at all. "Ohmygod, I love it.

"Don't say anything more," she added, holding out a hand as if that could help stop him. "I want to spot what else is all weird and different myself. I've been forced to watch this movie, like, a million times, so I'm definitely going to notice them."

"I've never seen it," Barry admitted. "I just thought it was way too popular a movie to watch, if that makes any fucking sense. Though I have to admit I dig James Cameron's work. You'll have to point out the weird shit for me."

He leaned back on the sofa and took another sip of the drink Summer had made making sure only to drink a small amount so he didn't get too buzzed or not buzzed enough. He was not going to bring up the fact that in this universe they had replaced Kate Winslet with an... interesting choice for the role.

Oh, Summer had only mixed in, like, a baby amount of actual vodka into the drink, so he'd be fine, but as he leaned into the couch, she was just going to get settled in next to him, comfortable and easy and sort of marveling a little at how this whole algorithm thing had actually managed to pull something that managed to distract her from her ulterior make-out session mission.

For now. She was pretty sure the novelty of it would wear off pretty quickly, especially if this version was even longer, but that just meant she'd have more time to build up to it.

"Look at you," she murmured with a grin as she got comfortable leaning against him a little. "Too smart and cool for something so popular, huh? Well, it really actually doesn't seem that different so far..."

Which just meant maybe having to pay more attention. And then she snorted.

"And at least they still have the 84 years meme in this dimension, too."

Which meant they were coming up pretty quickly on Summer about to take a hard turn on this whole experience.

"I don't think the story is that different," Barry said, adjusting his position slightly so his shoulder would be in a comfortable spot for both of them. "And I wouldn't say I was popular when this came out. Honestly, I was kind of a dick to people. That was before I came here and didn't have to keep what I was a secret."

He shrugged. "I did think I was too cool for the film though."

I mean come on. Everyone knew the Titanic was going to sink, right?

Summer grinned, and was on the very edge of a snarky response to that last part, but they had just gotten their first look at this version's Rose, stepping out of the car on the screen to get her first look at the ship.

Or...his? Because despite the very pretty dress and enormous feathered hat, it was a much more masculine face that peered up at the fated vessel and said, in a voice so familiar it made Summer's eyes nearly pop out of her head, "I don't see what all the fuss is about..."

"What. Thehell," said Summer, who really could not say anything else at that moment.

Edited 2020-09-11 16:11 (UTC)

"I know right?" Barry said with chuckle. "People lost their shit in that dimension when they cast a guy in a female's role. Granted, I understand why the female actors in Hollywood got pissed. They always get screwed over over for good parts."

Of course Barry had no clue why Summer was about to lose her mind.

Edited 2020-09-11 16:17 (UTC)

Oh, don't worry. She was definitely going to tell him.

"No, Barry," Summer said, sitting up now as if that would help her see more clearly, that maybe she was mistaken, but there was absolutely no denying it, this was a thing that was really happening, and things went from real weird to real fucking weird real quick. "You don't understand. That's my dad."

"What? Are you fucking kidding me?" Barry asked and fumbled with the controls trying to stop the movie but only causing it to skip ahead.

"I want you to draw me like one of your French girls..."

Yes. To that scene.

"OH SHIT! FUCK!"

Barry punched a whole bunch of buttons in panic mode until the movie turned off. "How the fuck did that happen?"

"Oh, fuck no!"

Barry, so help her, if that fumbling didn't yeild results and fast, then Summer was not going to hesitate to take those controls from you and throw that at her TV to break it, because she had enough trauma on that level thanks to that one time she and her dad actually switched bodies for a while and, hey, she had enough money now that she could just buy a new TV, and a new TV was a hell of a whole lot cheaper than therapy.

So when the screen finally went blank (and not a moment too soon), she all but collapsed back on the couch with a sigh of relief. And then she was just going to need a moment, pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes as if to press out everything she'd seen in the last whirlwind of minutes.

"Okay," she finally said, once she recovered, her hands staying where they were for a moment longer, and then they just sort of dragged down to her mouth, and then off her face. "So, technically, that's not my dad, because this is obviously from one of those dimensions where he goes on to become a big shot movie star because I was never actually born."

So here came another fun layer to this whole spectacular catastrophe!

And then, another thought:

"Ohmygod, so all that partying and meeting Kristen Stewart on Leo's yacht just went to a whole new level."

Hi, okay, wow, like, thanks....she hated it. So much.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck," Barry groaned. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

This only reminded Barry that whenever he fucked up? He fucked up big time.

"It's okay. I got another movie," he said rushing his words as he looked at one of the alternates he had downloaded. "It's a movie rip-off from ~~meta~~ Weekend at Bernie's which has a woman and cats that-"

And that's when Barry saw that it was written and directed by Jerry Smith.

"-Is a piece of shit, so never fucking mind."

He let out a groan and hunched over a bit so he could massage his head with his hand. "I am so fucking sorry."

"It's fiiiiiiiiiine," said Summer, who tilted her head back and closed her eyes and let out a long breath that was very clearly trying to do a lot of heavy lifting in convincing herself that it was fine, and, to push it even more: "It's fine."

She lifted her head again, if only to shake it a little. "I mean, how were you supposed to know that my father was breaking new gender-bending ground on otherwise classicaly regarded Hollywood blockbusters in what I assume were the mid-2000s in a completely alternate dimension?"

And that that would even ever be a sentence that would leave her own mouth?

There was another sigh, the sort that she was maybe a little too familiar with, of resignation and a weird sort of acceptance that this was just her life, before she turned her head finally to look at Barry with one brow quirked.

"Did your algorithm seriously pull up Last Will and Testimeow: Weekend at Dead Cat Lady's House II?"

Because, wow, that was a deep cut right there.

Edited 2020-09-11 18:08 (UTC)

Shit. She knew that one?

Barry groaned and flopped back on the couch rubbing his eyes as he did. "Yeah? I know. It's stupid. I was looking for fucked up movies we could make fun of. In my defense it was described as the Citizen Kane of movies with dead bodies and cats."

He sighed and looked over at Summer with a pitiful look. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think my movie choice would literally traumatize my girlfriend. Look, I got other movies that have nothing to do with the algorithm. I got ~~meta~~ for Spaceballs, Ghostbusters and this one documentary on migrant workers I did when I was 11."

It was a little preachy but it did win an award at Cannes.

Edited 2020-09-11 18:15 (UTC)

It was brought up at literally almost every family holiday since they'd discovered it, really.

But, quite frankly, everyone knew that Kit and Catdaver: Whiskers from the Grave was the much superior dead body/cats film.

"Well, that last one sounds uplifting," Summer murmured, although she had to admit, she was more than a little curious about that, but maybe not exactly at this time. "And believe me, this barely even scratches the surface of trauma, this is just my usual dumb luck..."

But then there was a pause, because in all of that, there was definitely one little detail in that that stuck out just a bit, and now she eyed Barry with a sort of speculative wariness.

"Roll that back a little, though," she said. "Traumatize your...what?"

Yeah, like that was going to go unnoticed!

Barry blinked. Once and then twice.

What did he say? His brain rewound a few seconds and replayed the conversation in his mind.

Oh.

Shit.

"Uh. Yeah," he said carefully watching for Summer's reaction. "Girlfriend. I mean... that's what's been in my head. I didn't want to label us or anything because I didn't want to fuck it up somehow. If you don't feel the same way I-"

Geez. Was it hot in here?

"Should I go? I feel like I really fucked things up. Maybe I should go."

Edited 2020-09-11 18:44 (UTC)

Summer was trying incredibly hard to keep her reaction very steady and guarded, but that pretty much went right out the window as soon as he said that it'd been in his head, and holy emotional whiplash, Ratman, but this purest of Freudean slips right there was quite possibly one of the greatest things to ever happen to her, even better than him lying about the solar converter to get her on that first date.

She almost didn't know how to respond that didn't involve some sort of squealing sound, but she did manage a "Don't..." as she reached out to grab his hand in case he did try to leave.

There was a moment, before she realized if she was already reaching for him, already leaning in, then she might as well just close the rest of the gap and pull him in for a kiss.

Okay. Barry wasn't about to refuse anything right now but he was experiencing his own emotional backlash right now but at least he wasn't breaking out into a cold sweat right now. But now-

Well there was kissing right now. And his brain was not thinking about anything else at the moment. And the anxiety level was definitely taken down a few notches.

"I'm... I'm not going," he managed to say when he finally found the words. He almost apologized for the movie again but decided going back to the trauma wasn't a good idea.

"So. That's okay. Saying that?" he asked because this whole thing was very confusing. Barry might be able to clone a human being but actually navigating social situations was still a difficult thing.

"Oh, it's definitely okay," Summer gushed, grinning a little, but staying very close, as if she maybe didn't fully believe that he wouldn't just up and run if given an inch of space to do so. "I, um...." A breath of a laugh escaped her for her sudden inability to find her own words. "I've been thinking about it a lot, too."

And the fact that putting a label on it sort of terrified her because she was pretty sure she'd never had anything with a label on it that didn't wind up being destructive or dysfunctional in awful, usually-dangerous-for-the-other-person ways, buuuuuut....

"It might make three-minute dates tomorrow a little awkward," she added, because levity was always a safe place, "but I only signed up to support the bar, anyway."

Barry's brain was flying high until the three-minute dates were brought up.

"Three-minute dates?"

For like. A second.

"Well," he said, leaning back on the couch and looking a little smug. "As long as I'm still your boyfriend at the end of the evening I don't think that's a big deal."

Yes. He was being a dork and confirming that with verbal statements. He might be a genius but he still can be an idiot.

"I mean," said Summer, who was definitely going to take a moment to just enjoy that incredibly dorky smug look on his face before taking advantage of him leaning back on the couch to settle in against him, hand on his chest, leaning in for another swift kiss, "I can't make any promises, but I'm pretty sure you'll be okay."

Because she might be an adorable badass, but she still can be a brat.

"Well if you decide to dump my sorry ass, just text me it's over and I'll just become a fucking hermit for the rest of the year," Barry joked, as his arm went around her shoulder. "I'll start washing my hands constantly and come in all pitiful on Wednesday nights to drink whatever fucking nasty jello shots you make until Jeremy and Roxie sign me up for a 12 step program and I turn to Jesus."

"Well, that's fucking grim," Summer snorted softly. "I wouldn't want that kind of blood on my hands."

Actual blood? Yeah, okay, whatever. But that? No one wanted that.

Barry laughed

"Yeah, yeah yeah," Barry said, poking her in the side. "I'm just saying: I'm secure enough with you that I'm not going to freak out about you going out on three minute dates. I've been around this island long enough to know that weird shit happens and more fucked up things happen on the weekend. So if it does? Don't worry about it. I'll be fucking fine."

"And I've been around this island long enough," Summer submitted, after squirming with perhaps some exaggerated cuteness at the poke, then looking over at him, "to know that there's not going to be anything in any of those three minutes better than this."

And then she had to...had to!...let her gaze drift over toward the darkened TV screen.

"Misguided movie algorithms notwithsanding."

Seriously, bro, just pick a damn movie you like!

Barry smiled. And gave her a small kiss. “I’m probably going to fuck something else down the road,” he said sincerely. “But it won’t be picking out a movie.”

He’s so checking IMDB to ensure no blood relative on either side is in a role going forward.

“By the way, the migrant worker movie is pretty boring so if you want we can put that on and ignore it all night.”

So you were really going to use phrasing like that, and then try to go into migrant workers, huh, Barry?

Summer bit her lip against a comment, but she wasn't as successful at keeping back a grin,, and she shook her head a little. "Yeah, but you made it," she said. "I want to be able to actually pay attention to it. And....maybe I should be honest about something. I..." She laughed a little. "...really didn't invite you over tonight because I wasnted to watch a movie, anyway..."

Barry was only confused for a second, really.

“Oh?” He asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement. “What did you have in mind? Jell-O shot tutorials? Pottery? Scrapbooking?”

Summer could only answer that question with a smirk before leaning in to get right to the kissing.

So, yeah. Something like that.

Okay. That. Yep. That's good. Totally good. No complaints here.

Barry? Good with the kissing.

Going forward though he was totally picking out boring movies.

MHA #4; Friday Evening [09/11].

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