Summer Smith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
somethingwithturquoise) wrote2017-12-28 01:46 pm
somethingwithturquoise) wrote2017-12-28 01:46 pm
Earth Dimension [Replacement]; Thursday, December 28th.
"Dad, what's going on?"
They had just pulled Morty out of his weekly counselling session at Harry Herpson, walking down the hallway of Summer's old high school, and she'd finally decided to start pressing him for an explanation.
"We’re going to Alaska," he told her.
"What?" asked Morty. "Why?"
"It’s nice there!" Jerry said, then added, with barely a breath between, "Also, I broke up with Keara, and she didn’t take it well, and she wants to murder you two."
Because that was exactly what you wanted to hear coming from your dad after telling him off. "What?" Morty asked. "Th-Then why are we walking?"
"I’m walking because I’m tired," Jerry said. "You guys should definitely run."
Running didn't do anyone one much good, though, when a recently broken-up-with Krootabulan warrior priestess phase-shifted right in front of you with death on her mind. Keara appeared before them, charging forward before any of them could barely get a scream out, phasing out to approach them even faster--
--and nearly right into Principal Vagina as he emerged from his office. "Excuse me," Keara said, moving over to the side, only to have Vagina try to move out of her way by going the same way. "I just--" She moved to the side again; he also moved to the same side again. "You know what?" she stopped, looking the very surprised principal in the eyes. I’m...I’m just gonna go left."
So she did.
And so did Principal Vagina.
"No, okay," she said, "your left. That's fi--" She moved; he moved.
"Do you know what left is!" She shouted her frustration. "‘cause...Ugh!" Giving up with the untinentional tango, she just phase-shifted straight through this interloper, realizing that the confusion had been just enough for Jerry and his meddling offspring to escape into Jerry's station wagon.
"What does your breakup have to do with us?" Morty demanded as they piled in, Jerry cranking the engine to a start.
"Yeah!" Summer chimed in. "We chose Mom, hands down! I thought we made that clear at the lawyer’s office...and in the comments under your weird rant on Facebook."
Just as they started to drive forward, Keara broke through the wall of the school, hovering over them. Jerry kicked the car into a sharp reverse, tires squealing.
"She..." Jerry said, Keara's floating approach clear in front of them through the windshield, "kind of blames you guys for the breakup."
"WHY?" the Smith kids demanded in unison.
"Because I told her it was your fault," Jerry sniveled.
"WHAT?"
And that was when they crashed through the chainlink fence around the football field
"Look, I’m not an evil person," Jerry insisted, "I’m just not very imaginative!"
A purple glow filled the air with a faint warbling, Keara using her telekinesis to grab the car and lift it from the football field. They all threw open their doors, leaping down to the ground mere seconds before she crushed it, crumpling the car as easily as one would crumple a piece of loose leaf paper. They ran, scattering as the ball of station wagon went flying for them, running, running, as a tireless woman scorned pursued.
"You can’t run forever!" Keara shouted, as she blasted energy toward the fleeing Smiths, knocking them down a cliff. Jerry's leg found itself a sharp rock, tearing into his jeans, his skin. But that couldn't stop them, they had to keep moving.
"She’s really pissed off," Summer said, as she and Morty helped Jerry up and moved toward the mouth of a conventiently located opening to an old mine shaft.
"I know," Jerry groaned. "It’s kinda hot."
"Shut. Up!"
The cave, however, was not empty, a small group of Varrix gathered around a fire. "The hunters!" one of them gasped, holding her baby closer as they scrambled to get up. "They’re back! Run!"
"We’re not hunters!" Morty told them quickly, holding out a hand.
"We want to hide with you!" Summer said.
"We’re not hiding!" one of the other Varrix said indigantly. "We're nesting."
"Ooh la la," Morty quirked a very unimpressed eyebrow.
And Keara burst through the cavern wall, sending the Varrix screaming through the dust. "The children must be destroyed," she declared, "so that we can be together."
"You need to break up with her, Dad!" Summer shouted. "Properly!"
Keara thrust out her hand; a purple glob of energy went whoosing toward Summer, seizing her by the neck, lifting her high, high off the ground. "God damn it, Dad!" she gasped out, legs kicking as they dangled. She grunted as Keara closed her fist, thus closing the telekinetic strangehold tighter around her throat. "Dump...her...!"
"Okay, okay! Keara?" Jerry lifted his brows hopefully, pausing a second before the tiny ounce of courage he might have had in him flew away as soon as it landed. "Let’s just run away."
The cavern filled with the disappointed ruckus of his son and the Varrix. "Come on!" one of them shouted. "Just rip the Band-Aid off!"
"Okay!" Jerry pushed himself off the ground where he'd falled when Summer had been pulled up in the air. "Keara, when I told you my kids were bigoted racists who were demanding I break up with you, I lied. If anybody deserves to be telekinetically strangled, it’s me. I’m the one who wants to break up."
Keara narrowed her eyes for a moment, discharging the energy from her hand. Summer dropped to the ground with a strangled scream, Morty rushing to her side to help her up as Jerry took a few tentative steps forward.
"I...I’m not an evil person," he continued. "I’m lazy, I’m cowardly, and...and I do not know what I’m doing. Look, I got someone pregnant at seventeen. We're getting a divorce. None of this is on purpose. I was excited to date someone cool because it would...make my ex notice me."
"I would expect nothing less from humanity," Keara growled, stepping forward, fists clenched to her sides. "A selfish, manipulative, dishonest species that--"
"Keara?"
Keara turned. "Trandor!"
A confused male Krootabulan emerged from the shadows. "What are you doing here?"
"Just..." Keara turned to the side, her eyes darting the other way as her arms folded in front of her defensively. "...hunting."
"Do you really expect me to believe it has nothing to do with us?" Trandor wiggled a finger between the two of them. "You knew Earth was my domain."
"I don’t like what you’re insinuating!" Keara gasped, affronted.
"Dad," Summer, who despite being dropped about ten feet from the air, was back to helping to support her dad with his leg injury with Morty, "can we go now?"
"Hold on a second.," said Jerry, "I’m starting to get the feeling that I was the rebound!"
"Dad," said Morty, gently attempting to turn him away toward the mouth of the cave, "you just got handed an Ex Machina. You’re taking it."
*********
Back at the house, Summer and Morty all but sprinted inside.
"We’re ho~ome!" Summer sang as they headed toward the dining room, ready to slip into a little bit of normalcy again.
Beth and Rick, who were surely not up to anything on their own accord this whole time, emerged from the kitchen. "Hey, guys!"
"What’s for dinner?" Summer asked. After all, running for your life and getting telekentically strangled really worked up an appetite.
"How was Jerry’s?" Beth asked.
"The usual." Summer shrugged, waving a dismissive hand, and promptly changing the subject. "Can we have pizza?"
"Pizza sounds great." Beth smiled, her pleasant mood a little surprising, but Summer wasn't going to question it as Beth pulled up a pizza place on her phone.
"Hey, Rick," Morty said, "did you know my dad was dating an alien?"
"No." Rick's lip curled. "Gross. For the alien."
"Aw, crap," Beth frowned. "I think Arnaldo’s is closed. Are you guys sure you want pizza?"
As she spoke, Rick stepped back a little, pulled his portal gun out of his coat, and shot it at the wall. Two seconds after stepping through, he stepped back out triumphantly with two pizza boxes. "Arnaldo’s isn’t closed in the dimension where they didn’t invent Daylight Savings!" he announced while Summer and Morty clapped their appreciation.
"What would we do without you?" Beth sighed wistfully while the kids dove in without haste. "I love you, Dad."
"Love you, too, sweetie," said Rick, returing his daughter's embrace before slipping into his own seat across the table and grabbing a slice for himself.
"By the way," he said quickly, "that wasn’t time travel. There were just a couple pizzas on the counter. I grabbed them."
Just to be clear for the pedantic.
[[and fin! More S03E09, "The ABC's of Beth." What's a holiday break without a little canon trauma, right? Summer will be back tomorrow, but for now she's reachable by text or call if you'd like]]
They had just pulled Morty out of his weekly counselling session at Harry Herpson, walking down the hallway of Summer's old high school, and she'd finally decided to start pressing him for an explanation.
"We’re going to Alaska," he told her.
"What?" asked Morty. "Why?"
"It’s nice there!" Jerry said, then added, with barely a breath between, "Also, I broke up with Keara, and she didn’t take it well, and she wants to murder you two."
Because that was exactly what you wanted to hear coming from your dad after telling him off. "What?" Morty asked. "Th-Then why are we walking?"
"I’m walking because I’m tired," Jerry said. "You guys should definitely run."
Running didn't do anyone one much good, though, when a recently broken-up-with Krootabulan warrior priestess phase-shifted right in front of you with death on her mind. Keara appeared before them, charging forward before any of them could barely get a scream out, phasing out to approach them even faster--
--and nearly right into Principal Vagina as he emerged from his office. "Excuse me," Keara said, moving over to the side, only to have Vagina try to move out of her way by going the same way. "I just--" She moved to the side again; he also moved to the same side again. "You know what?" she stopped, looking the very surprised principal in the eyes. I’m...I’m just gonna go left."
So she did.
And so did Principal Vagina.
"No, okay," she said, "your left. That's fi--" She moved; he moved.
"Do you know what left is!" She shouted her frustration. "‘cause...Ugh!" Giving up with the untinentional tango, she just phase-shifted straight through this interloper, realizing that the confusion had been just enough for Jerry and his meddling offspring to escape into Jerry's station wagon.
"What does your breakup have to do with us?" Morty demanded as they piled in, Jerry cranking the engine to a start.
"Yeah!" Summer chimed in. "We chose Mom, hands down! I thought we made that clear at the lawyer’s office...and in the comments under your weird rant on Facebook."
Just as they started to drive forward, Keara broke through the wall of the school, hovering over them. Jerry kicked the car into a sharp reverse, tires squealing.
"She..." Jerry said, Keara's floating approach clear in front of them through the windshield, "kind of blames you guys for the breakup."
"WHY?" the Smith kids demanded in unison.
"Because I told her it was your fault," Jerry sniveled.
"WHAT?"
And that was when they crashed through the chainlink fence around the football field
"Look, I’m not an evil person," Jerry insisted, "I’m just not very imaginative!"
A purple glow filled the air with a faint warbling, Keara using her telekinesis to grab the car and lift it from the football field. They all threw open their doors, leaping down to the ground mere seconds before she crushed it, crumpling the car as easily as one would crumple a piece of loose leaf paper. They ran, scattering as the ball of station wagon went flying for them, running, running, as a tireless woman scorned pursued.
"You can’t run forever!" Keara shouted, as she blasted energy toward the fleeing Smiths, knocking them down a cliff. Jerry's leg found itself a sharp rock, tearing into his jeans, his skin. But that couldn't stop them, they had to keep moving.
"She’s really pissed off," Summer said, as she and Morty helped Jerry up and moved toward the mouth of a conventiently located opening to an old mine shaft.
"I know," Jerry groaned. "It’s kinda hot."
"Shut. Up!"
The cave, however, was not empty, a small group of Varrix gathered around a fire. "The hunters!" one of them gasped, holding her baby closer as they scrambled to get up. "They’re back! Run!"
"We’re not hunters!" Morty told them quickly, holding out a hand.
"We want to hide with you!" Summer said.
"We’re not hiding!" one of the other Varrix said indigantly. "We're nesting."
"Ooh la la," Morty quirked a very unimpressed eyebrow.
And Keara burst through the cavern wall, sending the Varrix screaming through the dust. "The children must be destroyed," she declared, "so that we can be together."
"You need to break up with her, Dad!" Summer shouted. "Properly!"
Keara thrust out her hand; a purple glob of energy went whoosing toward Summer, seizing her by the neck, lifting her high, high off the ground. "God damn it, Dad!" she gasped out, legs kicking as they dangled. She grunted as Keara closed her fist, thus closing the telekinetic strangehold tighter around her throat. "Dump...her...!"
"Okay, okay! Keara?" Jerry lifted his brows hopefully, pausing a second before the tiny ounce of courage he might have had in him flew away as soon as it landed. "Let’s just run away."
The cavern filled with the disappointed ruckus of his son and the Varrix. "Come on!" one of them shouted. "Just rip the Band-Aid off!"
"Okay!" Jerry pushed himself off the ground where he'd falled when Summer had been pulled up in the air. "Keara, when I told you my kids were bigoted racists who were demanding I break up with you, I lied. If anybody deserves to be telekinetically strangled, it’s me. I’m the one who wants to break up."
Keara narrowed her eyes for a moment, discharging the energy from her hand. Summer dropped to the ground with a strangled scream, Morty rushing to her side to help her up as Jerry took a few tentative steps forward.
"I...I’m not an evil person," he continued. "I’m lazy, I’m cowardly, and...and I do not know what I’m doing. Look, I got someone pregnant at seventeen. We're getting a divorce. None of this is on purpose. I was excited to date someone cool because it would...make my ex notice me."
"I would expect nothing less from humanity," Keara growled, stepping forward, fists clenched to her sides. "A selfish, manipulative, dishonest species that--"
"Keara?"
Keara turned. "Trandor!"
A confused male Krootabulan emerged from the shadows. "What are you doing here?"
"Just..." Keara turned to the side, her eyes darting the other way as her arms folded in front of her defensively. "...hunting."
"Do you really expect me to believe it has nothing to do with us?" Trandor wiggled a finger between the two of them. "You knew Earth was my domain."
"I don’t like what you’re insinuating!" Keara gasped, affronted.
"Dad," Summer, who despite being dropped about ten feet from the air, was back to helping to support her dad with his leg injury with Morty, "can we go now?"
"Hold on a second.," said Jerry, "I’m starting to get the feeling that I was the rebound!"
"Dad," said Morty, gently attempting to turn him away toward the mouth of the cave, "you just got handed an Ex Machina. You’re taking it."
*********
Back at the house, Summer and Morty all but sprinted inside.
"We’re ho~ome!" Summer sang as they headed toward the dining room, ready to slip into a little bit of normalcy again.
Beth and Rick, who were surely not up to anything on their own accord this whole time, emerged from the kitchen. "Hey, guys!"
"What’s for dinner?" Summer asked. After all, running for your life and getting telekentically strangled really worked up an appetite.
"How was Jerry’s?" Beth asked.
"The usual." Summer shrugged, waving a dismissive hand, and promptly changing the subject. "Can we have pizza?"
"Pizza sounds great." Beth smiled, her pleasant mood a little surprising, but Summer wasn't going to question it as Beth pulled up a pizza place on her phone.
"Hey, Rick," Morty said, "did you know my dad was dating an alien?"
"No." Rick's lip curled. "Gross. For the alien."
"Aw, crap," Beth frowned. "I think Arnaldo’s is closed. Are you guys sure you want pizza?"
As she spoke, Rick stepped back a little, pulled his portal gun out of his coat, and shot it at the wall. Two seconds after stepping through, he stepped back out triumphantly with two pizza boxes. "Arnaldo’s isn’t closed in the dimension where they didn’t invent Daylight Savings!" he announced while Summer and Morty clapped their appreciation.
"What would we do without you?" Beth sighed wistfully while the kids dove in without haste. "I love you, Dad."
"Love you, too, sweetie," said Rick, returing his daughter's embrace before slipping into his own seat across the table and grabbing a slice for himself.
"By the way," he said quickly, "that wasn’t time travel. There were just a couple pizzas on the counter. I grabbed them."
Just to be clear for the pedantic.
[[and fin! More S03E09, "The ABC's of Beth." What's a holiday break without a little canon trauma, right? Summer will be back tomorrow, but for now she's reachable by text or call if you'd like]]