somethingwithturquoise | MHA #4; Friday Evening [08/26].

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MHA #4; Friday Evening [08/26].

So there was at least one good thing about spending the week where one of your bestie's other job completely exploded in an inglorious series of very dramatic, very cool events that changed everything in a galaxy far, far away....and that was that when it came to making the absolutely now required aftermath sangria, Summer could make it using space shit.

There was just something about space sangria that just made it better. Probably because it involved using booze meant to knock out individuals with much higher constitutions than the average human.

Either way, she was glad that she brought her portal gun with her on her trip with Lana so that she could duck out when necessary, and she was particularly glad that she had not needed to use it for some catastrophic emergency (although one could argue that a sangria night of this magnitude kind of was an emergency).

But she was back, she had her space sangria ready, and now all she had to do was wait for Annie to make that long and arduous trek down the hall from her apartment to Summer's, all the while fending off a whole wave of passive aggressiveness and irritated looks from Pancakes, who had clearly not appreciated Summer's absence this week.

"I could have just left you with Barry for another day, you know," she reminded her, a point that Pancakes begrudgingly acquiesced to her before stalking off to find the best position to just sit and sulk at her while she had her sangria.

[[ for the ex-Miss Starlight, pls! With a big fat CW for discussions of violence, SA, death, and everything you'd expect from a drunken aftermath thread of this magnitude ]]

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Oh, she wasn't wrong at all about Alex's naivete -- say what you will about Annie when she first arrived in New York, she had not been so foolish as to try to confide in A-Train -- and really, there was a part of Annie that would always be a little angry at him for not thinking about that for, just...like a half-second longer.

"Yeah," Annie sighed, before taking a rather long drink from her sangria. "And like -- there was a lot of just kind of fucking with Diego in general before that. And he can hold his own, seriously, he's amazing and I'm not just saying that because I'm marrying him, he's a better fighter than I am and he's so graceful and his powers are so fucking useful in a fight, but -- like, if you don't have the invulnerability back home, you might as well be made of glass, you know?"

Obviously. But the sangria was kind of doing its thing, so that was all just kind of pouring out of Annie.

"At one point, we were pretty much being held hostage by Homelander," she concluded, shaking her head. "And meanwhile my contacts are off in Russia trying to find a weapon and telling me to stay put whatever it takes, and it ended up taking -- a lot."

And maybe she was kind of mad about that? Or at least, the sangria and Summer's company were giving her a sort of freedom to be mad, right now.

Pure, unbridled rage on this situation would tooootally be entirely legit. In fact, in Annie's shiny boots, that would be the emotion first and foremost for Summer, really, and she shook her head, reaching for the pitcher, to make sure Annie's glass was plenty full before it had a chance to even think of being empty.

"Jesus," she said, "what a goddamn mess. And, of course, as we know, Russia was a total dead end this whole time.

"Well," she amended, after a little top-off and a quick sip of her own, "not totally, but you know what I mean. Less of a dead-end, more of a....cul-de-sac."

Sure, that worked!

A cul-de-sac where they'd turned around and brought back the most attractive human bomb Annie had ever seen, exactly.

"Honestly, I wish it had been a dead end," she sighed, shaking her head. "A dead end would have been a bunch of nothing, at least, instead of shit just getting worse." She took a sip, trying to retrace her mental steps, and frowned. "You haven't met Hughie and Butcher and MM and everyone, right? I know a couple people ran into Butcher and MM at Believe Expo -- you haven't meet a loud British guy using the C-word really liberally, right?"

She was pretty sure Summer had been busy during Believe Expo. (You know, amassing followers, maybe?)

Funny you should say that, narrative, becauuuuse....

"Oh, no," said Summer, snorting easily into into her cup. "I was waaaay too preoccupied with building my Punch the Devil cult and keeping an eye out for hot older pastor types to help get your mom to fucking relax a little at Believe Expi for much else."

Aahhhh, what simpler, more innocent times those were!

"He sounds lovely, though."

Edited 2022-08-26 19:43 (UTC)

"Oh, he sucks," Annie assured her, before circling right back and remembering, "I totally forgot you tried to get my mom laid at Believe. God. That would have been amazing."

Amaaaaaaaaaaaazing. Though Annie didn't want to think about it too much.

"I don't know if I knew about the cult," she admitted, though she was far too into this glass of sangria -- and, moreover, far too the fuck over Vought and Believe Expo and, let's be honest, kinda God Himself -- to be, like, outraged.

"I think it may have come up?" Summer said, shrugging, and drinking, and figuring that, really, the whole indoctrination of impressionable youths thing was pretty small potatoes, and, really, anyone at Believe Expo getting mad about it should just look in the goddamn mirror, maybe. "But, you know, all that was pretty overshadowed by something slightly bigger back then."

But, thinking back to that event, Summer shook her head again. "God, Homelander had massive tool written all over him even, too. And you," she gave Annie a significant look over her glass, which she lifted, as if in a toast, "have been through some real shit with those guys, so allow me to take a moment on congratulating you for finally saying Fuck You Assholes, and GTFOing. I'm proud of you, Annie. I know it's been hell to go through, but you got there, and fuck them aaaaalllllll."

"Fuck them all," Annie agreed, lifting her own glass proudly, and...holy shit, did that feel great. "Oh my God, fuck all of them even that far back. I can't believe I stayed so long."

Like, the fact that she'd left Believe Expo kinda worried they'd fire her, when in reality she should have been running as fast as those gold boots would have taken her....

But thinking about Believe Expo made her think about the last time she'd lost her shit publicly, and that made her think about why, and that had her turning to Summer with something sort of like glee. "Oh my God, I have to show you something. Want to see the grossest thing?"

She needed to work on her invitation. Diego had, weirdly, not been excited to see the grossest thing? But hopefully Summer would be.

Edited 2022-08-26 22:32 (UTC)

Annie. Annie. You've seen what this woman had done to jello. She'd managed to manifest a whole giant hunk to the island with pizza beer alone.

Of course she wanted to see the grossest thing.

"Grossest is a pretty tall order with me, you know," Summer reminded her blithely, but then she grinned, leaning forward. "But yes, please, ohmygod. Wait....it's not, like, blood and gore gross, though, is it? Wait!"

She gasped, eyes widening and brightening.

"Is it superhero orgy gross???"

Don't think she was forgetting about that any time soon!

"It is superhero orgy gross," Annie told her with a proud nod of her head -- and okay, we were officially in the, 'think big gestures through carefully' stage of drinking, good to know, whew. She was reaching for her phone, but it was going to take her a second to call up the picture, anyway. "So like, first of all? There were so many things I didn't take a picture of. Like. A guy with a giant prehensile dick greeted us at the door. And my friend had to change his shirt right away because someone...."

Annie made a really descriptive hand gesture, culminating in a little explosive jazz (...or jizz?) hand.

"Like...a bucket, all over him." God, it was so gross. "But no, this was the grossest thing I saw. The grossest thing I've ever seen."

But also maybe kind of the best, and here, Summer, go ahead and take her phone and feast your eyes upon that glorious picture of The Deep, and that as-far-as-Annie-knew-unnamed octopus.

Summer had a few follow-up questions with regards to giant prehensile dick, but those went completely out the window once she had Annie's phone in her hand and...and...

"Oh my goooooooood, he's a squid-fucker."

Octopus, Summer. It was an octopus, god.

She handed the phone back, for her own good, because if she didn't, she would keep looking at it, she kind of couldn't look away?

"You're right, though," she added assuringly. "That is extremely disgusting."

"I don't even know what he was doing there -- this dumbass," Annie shook her phone, lest Summer somehow lose track of who they were discussing, but then she mercifully at least turned it off so they could stop looking at him, "is now the head of crime analytics. I think it's just him and Noir and A-Train with Homelander, now, so I'm kind of holding onto this until...you know. The right time. This is that secret weapon I mentioned."

Whether she'd send it just straight to Homelander or whether she'd send it out to all of Deep's, like, SeaWorld sponsors remained to be seen.

Summer's brows lifted a little, impressed, but then she took a drink and they lowered, furrowing with concern.

"You know what," she ventured, her voice already going a little apologetic as she shook her head, "maybe this is just because the whole 'secret weapon' thing has not gone over very well for you recently in general, but I have a feeling you might want to temper your expectations on that one. That guy does not really strike me as someone who'd be all that phased by people knowing he's a squid-fucker. Like, I'm sure it'll be awkward for a little while, but...well...."

She was just going to let literally all the stuff that had transpired since Believe Expo just sit there for a moment, especially the whole part about, even after Believe Expo, Annie had just mentioned he was head of crime analytics. She was going to let it sit there, and marinate, and finish up her glass, and then reach to refill it, which meant she might need to get the next pitcher here pretty soon.

"I did, however," she stated encouragingly, "have an absolutely terrible idea."

"You make a really good point." And if Annie had been a little more focused on the tabloid-y side of the news cycle back home, instead of all the Maeve tributes and the conspicuous absence of Homelander at the moment, she would also know that Deep was going through a pretty public divorce. The octopus thing? Probably not going to make as big a splash (bah-dum-tss) as she would have liked, no. "But your terrible ideas are usually kind of great, so I'm all ears."

Summer gave Annie a sort of reproachful look, as if to warn her that this really was pretty terrible, but that didn't stop her from then proceeding on, sounding incredibly pleased and proud of herself as she asked, "What do you think would happen..."

Pause for effect.

And so that she didn't spill while pouring.

Okay, mostly so that she didn't spill while pouring.

Her grin then went shamelessly stupid.

"If we introduced him to Sidon?"

"Oh my God. What did Sidon ever do to you?" Annie wondered, eyes wide as she considered this.

Because -- like. That did not sound like it was going to end with poor Sidon not being just wildly harassed. "Until a couple weeks ago, I would've said I thought Deep was straight, but...."

But now octopuses...octopi?* were involved, and maybe that was a good indication that Deep was actually something more like pan, right?
__
*it was octopodes, Annie.

She warned you that it was terrible!

"More like just kind of wiggly," Summer concluded, lifting a finger and twisting it around in the air like her best (worst?) impression of a tentacle.

You could feel free to regret imparting this information to Summer at any time now, Annie. But for now, Summer put away her awful finger and slid up from the couch with a declaration of, "I'm gonna get the second pitcher!" and a flounce off to the kitchen.

But she wouldn't leave Annie with just that thought as she called out, "Do you know if he has, like, some sort of secret magic shell or whatever that gives him his powers? Like, I know that's not how powers work in your world, but apparently, that's a thing with this ocean guy who was my grampa's nemesis for a while? Mr. Nimbus? And, like, if you found his shell and destroyed it, it apparently destroyed his powers."

Unlike blowing it, which only made him stronger, which she learned the hard way, but now she knew.

"Your grandpa had an ocean nemesis?" That called for more drinking, yes. One of these days, Annie felt like she kind of needed to meet this grandfather of Summer's -- though, having met a version of her mom, she wasn't exactly surprised at the kind of stock Summer came from. It was more just that this guy sounded busy. "Did you destroy his shell? I think Deep just has, like, gills or something."

Though where he kept them, she wasn't sure. They weren't on his neck, so maybe she was wrong? But he definitely could breathe underwater, so it followed....

"No!" said Summer, with an affronted sound from the kitchen, before emerging with the second pitcher in hand and reclaiming her space with a top off for both glasses before setting it aside. "I blew it, because Rick didn't tell me I was supposed to destroy it instead, and apparently, that just made Mr. Nimbus stronger, and also, apparently, he controls the police?"

That had, at the time, been an important detail?

"I don't know," she said, shaking her head. "The whole thing was fucked and reminded me why I do not go home anymore if I can help it. But I was in the area for some reason..." For the life of her, she couldn't remember why, obviously she needed some space or to get away from something, and it was going to bother her now that she couldn't recall the details, "...and I swear, as soon as I hit my own dimension, he's blowing up my phone, being all 'ooooh, Summer, I need your help! You're the only one I can trust, Sum-Sum, I'm a total piece of shiiit, meeerrrn.'"

Not to, like, highjack your entire world imploding with a small Grampa-related rant tangent, or anything, though, Annie.

Pff. Considering how rare it was to get Summer to actually talk about what was going on with her, Annie welcomed the rant.

"You're the only one he can trust, but also he didn't tell you how to actually fuck the guy up? Nice immediate failure setup, dude. What a manipulative tool," Annie replied, skeptical of Grampa Rick, here. "Wait, wait, do you mean you blew it, like..."

Annie actually blew through her hand like a little horn, and that sounded much more interesting and kind of fun than the 'I blew it' she'd initially heard as a general declaration of failure.

Summer giggled a little bit at the gesture. "Yeah, no," she confirmed, "like, literally blew it, and, by doing so, also totally metaphorically blew it, if you asked Rick, but, whatever, yeah, like, it's his own fault, maybe next time be a little clearer with your instructions, my dude."

She took a sip, a sort of thoughtful one, and then admitted, "Honestly, I was kind of hoping blowing the shell would wind up giving me the powers, and then I could be the one to, like, totally destroy him or whatever."

But, alas!

"Dude, and then you'd have like, ocean powers, and I would kind of love that." Who needed to recruit a poor, unsuspecting shark man who'd get sexually harassed by The Deep when you could just bring your own bestie, who you knew would happily throw a merman's trident or something right through The Deep's balls, into the mix? "But also, like -- that was a solid strategy, Summer, I don't blame you. That sounds like it should have destroyed the dude. Am I allowed to say your grandpa kinda sounds like he sucks? Because he does. You deserve better."

Plus, she looked good as hell in a wetsuit.

"Oh," said Summer, with Em.Pha.SIS. "You're totally allowed to say my grampa sucks, Annie, because he does. He sucks....so hard. Like, I swear to god, he's half the reason why none of this Homelander bullshit surprised me in the slightest. The magic conch shell isn't even the beginning of it, Annie, but we do not have enough sangria to start falling down that rabbit hole. There's not enough sangria in the world for that rabbit hole."

"Can I request a raincheck?" Annie asked, smiling a little. "'Cause man, you've listened to me rant and rant and rant, and I still have to ask you something important, but like -- Summer, you deserve to bitch about your grandfather all night, sometime, I'm super here for it. Especially if he's the reason you were able to predict Homelander."

Summer's grampa did not sound like exactly the same sort of sociopath, but maybe it was only because he sounded like he had more of a sense of humor.

There were times where Summer almost felt that Rick was honestly a worse kind of sociopath, because Rick could make you actually believe he cared. And get you to fall for it, each and every time.... She felt anyone who wound up trusting a guy like Homelander was just asking for it....

"You've had more than enough good reason to rant," Summer pointed out. "And rant and rant. All I've got is a lame dumb grampa."

Who was an emotionally manipulative superhero who almost lead the world to get entirely destroyed on multiple occasions and abandoned his grandkids places and took over the lives of different versions of himself and....and....and....

Summer took a big, big drink, wiping the remnants from her mouth with the back of her hand, and maybe, just maybe, let out a small burp that, if she remembered it in the morning, was going to sort of haunt her a lot.

"What did important something did you need to ask me?"

Because focusing on that? Much better right now, thanks.

Annie wasn't so drunk as to not notice a perfectly executed Summer Smith step-and-ball-change to a different subject away from herself and her own family. (She also noticed that, frankly, adorable little burp. With Annie's in-laws and home universe, bodily functions weren't going to throw her too hard.) (Though, granted, Annie was unaware of any hereditary tendencies here, as well.)

But. That all being said, she'd just continue to keep an eye out for conversational openings where she could delve a little more into Summer's dumb grampa, and her dad who kept bees and maybe had a thing with Billy Zane, once, and her horse surgeon mom who also was a badass, maybe, and her incredibly normal sounding brother.

"I assume you've heard my Maid of Honor died in a blaze of glory," Annie ventured, after taking a sip of her drink. And at this point in sangria time, she wasn't quite so weepy as she'd been inclined to be about Alex -- partly because she knew the truth, here -- but she was definitely sort of wistful about asking.

MHA #4; Friday Evening [08/26].

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